Later on in the day I went to the YMCA to let off some steam and a sign in the cardio room read "How do you live your life when nobody is watching?" or something similar. I don't know why it was this that spoke to me but I had a big realisation. In some ways I have been living my life in a kind of fog for the last six months. I have had flashes of what I'd call me but they have never lasted long. I've been consumed with worries stemming from our unexpected move and the financial concerns that have ensued. And with Dad passing away, I have neglected some of my interests and things that make me who I am. When I made some brownies for FHE the other week I realized that I hadn't made any in over six months. I have scrapbooked a few pages here and there, but I haven't written a word except on this blog. I've also been very sporadic at the gym. It's not felt the same since everyone who goes seems pretty serious about their fitness goals. I miss the friendships and social aspects that going to the gym in Ohio meant to me.
I am determined to work towards being better. I am going to be more patient with the kids and enjoy their amazing little personalities. I am going to spend time on my writing and on other creative projects. It's not easy but I'm going to try very hard to banish the worries and live life to the full. I love my Dad so I am going to try to lift the weight from off my chest.
Here are some pictures of the kids.
Today we took the kids to see Coraline in 3D. I have to say it was visually fantastic. The kids were enthralled. But I wish they had 3D specs that were more appropriate for little children's faces. Spencer and Nathan had a hard time keeping them on and they were uncomfortable. They looked cute in them however!
Monday through Wednesday this week Leia and Spencer were ill as you have already read with fevers and sore throats. On Wednesday, I thought Spencer and Leia could use a cool bath to make them feel a little better. Leia elected to take a shower but I put both the boys in our larger tub. They love it and this time was no exception. Spencer was happy to just sit and squirt Nathan while Nathan caused all the splashing and tidal waves. I love to see the boys enjoying each other's company. Their smiles helped brighten my very dull day.
4 comments:
I miss you, too. Working out isn't the same without you. If you're thinking of having Gary commute from Ohio everyday, then I'm on board. ;o)
Well, its funny because I have been realising the same things over the past few days and have determined today that I need to sort a few things out. We mustn't be too hard on ourselves though. I am sure the way we have been feeling is natural considering what we have been through. Love you x
Aww, I feel for you Sarah. It's hard to be consistent when experiences and surroundings in life are constantly changing. I can totally relate. With our move coming up, I've been pretty stressed out lately, and it makes me sad to notice the effect that has on my family.
The quote that always comes to mind that helps me immediately is, "Faith and worry cannot exist in the same mind at the same time." Joseph Smith
It immediately humbles me and helps me realize that I need more faith... whenever I'm afraid or worried about something. Anyway, I'm sorry things have been tough for you lately, but good for you for taking initative in your life and doing something about it. Thanks for the inspiration. I miss you more than you know. :(
I didn't know about your dad. Sorry to hear about that. You have been through quite a lot. The move alone is enough to throw anyone off. I think of you as a cheerful, can do person.
I think just about any problem can be handled when eating a freshly baked brownie!
More Brownies!
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