Friday, July 31, 2009

Oh deer!

Last night we went to see Harry Potter at the IMAX with friends. It was a very fun double date and much needed. I think I need to get out a bit more often since the hormone changes have been causing pretty wild mood swings. I know it's been hard for Gary to deal with and draining for me as well. Most of the time at the end of the day all I want to do is collapse and not move for the rest of the night. But getting out pumped me up. And since it's still the school vacation, adult interactions are even more essential. Here is a pic of the four of us in front of the Harry Potter poster and wearing the always oversized 3D glasses.

And then this morning Spencer came rushing into my bedroom and said, "there's a big animal in the backyard and it looks like a deer."
Sure enough it was a deer, and quite a large one at that. The kids were so excited and offered various theories as to how it got there, the most popular being that it escaped from the zoo. But since that's about 15 miles away, I'm sure it probably lives in the grassland behind our neighborhood although I must admit I've never seen any roaming around out there. Spencer chased it for a while which it didn't appreciate and I found to be quite alarming. When it was jumping around out there next to little Spencer it looked quite strong. I don't think deer are aggressive but when one is cornered, you can't really predict the outcome. Eventually it wandered off.

And then it was time to go shopping for school supplies. My theory behind getting it done three weeks before school starts was to avoid the crowd. That horrible, claustrophobic, stuck between several carts, you can't even see what's on the shelf for the bodies kind of feeling. It gets hot and stressful especially when you're fielding excited kids who want to get their backpack and lunchbox when you're staring at the supply list incredulously because they want pink erasers and all you can find are bins stuffed with white ones.
Well the trip did not live up to my expectations. I totally forgot that another school district that borders ours starts school next week. All I can say at this point is that it's all been purchased including lunchboxes and recorders and has been divided up and stuffed into backpacks. Thank goodness I only have to do this once a year. Now my normal reaction after a shopping trip like this would be to break out the chocolate but right now it just doesn't sound good. I've hardly eaten a bite of chocolate these last few months. I've wanted cherries like nobody's business but I think the acid has been causing me heartburn at night which is when I really want to eat them. I expect I'll end up doing what I've been doing every night. I'll spend my time thinking about eating but not being able to decide on anything.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Someday you will be in my shoes

Today I had a complete meltdown over the state of the children's bedrooms. I don't know why I can't let go but I am so much more comfortable in tidiness. My first instinct is to throw things away rather than keep things (nothing important of course). Leia's room wasn't just covered with her things but with all the laundry baskets from the laundry room, all the blankets she could round up, all the cushions from the sofas, all the sponge blocks we have plus another piece of furniture that doesn't belong in her room. I couldn't have placed a foot into her room without treading on something. I was so mad the children spent an hour in their rooms in complete silence while I took some time out in my own bedroom. But as I lay there it was completely spoiled because I just felt bad. It was as if I had a weight on my chest. The kids are imaginitive and they like to build things and play at school, restaurant, and many other little games they have. In a few short (but seemingly long) weeks they'll be back to school and I will have the house to myself again. I can de-clutter to my heart's content.
Well I promised Leia a girls night to paint nails and watch something truly horrible like Hannah Montana if she could keep her room tidy for a week. She seemed excited and I felt better for trying to spin the whole thing positively instead of negatively. Still I felt like I needed a pick me up.
We decided to go and eat dinner out. We hardly ever do this and so the kids were so over excited. I had a bit of concern over how they would behave. They tend to speak in loud voices and laugh very loudly. Thankfully they were quite good. We sat in a booth. Gary wanted to sit next to me and convinced me to let the kids share the opposite bench. There were a few moments, since anything Leia or Spencer do that is construed to be the least bit funny, Nathan copies many times over.
When we were finished, we asked for the bill. The waiter came over with not just the bill but a little note from the lady who had been sitting at the next table.

Dear Folks
I'm a mother, grandmother, and great grandmother. I've admired how your children have behaved. It reminds me of my younger years 55+ years ago. Therefore I will be more than happy to treat you to half the price of your dinner. You've made my day. God Bless You. Someday you will be in my shoes. Love :)

Well I was literally floored. The lady had left as she wanted to be anonymous and had paid half the bill. I felt like crying. It was such a blessing. Not really the money but just the kind words of encouragement. It's hard to keep perspective sometimes but she's right. One day we will be all on our own and won't have to wade through mountains of mess. At that point the funny thing is that we might even miss it. I wished I could have hugged that lady and told her how much I needed her today.
On the way home we were in the party mood. We put on Michael Jackson and the kids bounced around in their seats. His music is just timeless. The kids had never heard of Michael Jackson until the endless news coverage of his death a few weeks ago and now they are fans.
Spencer asked Gary if he wore his ring all the time. Gary said of course because if he didn't then women would be swarming all over him. "So the ring is a shield?" asked Leia. I love the way the kids believe that their Dad is some kind of ladykiller! Although I'm not necessarily disagreeing. He is my man after all and laughter was a great way to wind up a day that didn't start out so great but finished pretty spectacularly.

Monday, July 20, 2009

160 bpm

Well I finally got to hear it! After 8 weeks of feeling awful, I went into the doctor and heard what has to be the loveliest sound at this point. There it was, racing along in the 160's. I've thrown up, wanted to sleep all day, been congested and totally without a sense of smell and taste after about 3pm. Now I am almost past the magic 12 weeks. I feel awesome today. Perhaps it's a little psychosomatic since I have the high of hearing the heartbeat and the totally AWESOME news from my doc that it's now okay to use my nasal spray again but I don't care. Everything is better when I can breathe properly.
And now I just have to be patient until my ultrasound date. Leia has already informed me that if we are having a boy then she won't help me out at all. However if it's a baby sister then she will do EVERYTHING for the baby including changing diapers. HMMMMMM. Something tells me in the 4-5 months after the ultrasound she will get used to the idea of another brother if that is the case. I think this baby will be smothered to tell the truth.
I am going to try and enjoy this experience. I have three VERY energetic children that's soon going to be four before I know it. I will have 5 months of having all three occupied in school where I can scrapbook, rest, and make sure the house is seriously clean and tidy before things change. I'm excited!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

After bathtime

No matter what, this little boy can always bring a smile to my face. Of course if it's right before bed and he's acting goofy so much the better. If it's when I'm by myself and I'm not feeling so good, no doubt my smile is less enthusiastic but it's there!

Monday, July 6, 2009

Before and after

Who needs to clean up spills? If you leave them long enough, I'm sure they'll disappear.

It took an entire day to just remove the garbage they had left behind.

The neighbors kindly took the full bottle of whiskey, and once the rest had been picked over after sitting on the curb, there were three runs to the dump. NICE

Who needs a trash can when you've got a back yard?

Anyone want to wipe their butt on the patio doors?

Ooooh, fun activity. Lets take the door knobs out. ?????????????

And then Gary rides in on his white horse and transforms the place. I'm so lucky to have such a handy hubby.

Of course a big thank you goes out to all those who helped out last week. Gary couldn't have done it all without the support of family and friends. We are so glad to have the house back in our possession. I won't say anything about the scumbags who lived there or this post will no longer be family friendly!

Friday, July 3, 2009


There's a lot of things to get stressed about right now in my life. One of the most pressing is the mess created by tenants from HELL (please excuse my vehemence) when they trashed our house and ran off without paying rent and certain bills associated with the house.
But this morning I find I don't care. Because Leia wrote this for me. It is almost as good as the look on her sweet face when she gave it to me and waited for my reaction.


Mommy mommmy
What would I do without you?
If you weren't here with me I would not have
all the love and care.
Seems like your my special gift!
Everything you provide is great!
Mommy mommy
I love you.
I just want to say I love you.
You are special
Mommy mommy

I know that today is going to be a very good day. Sometimes I feel bad because I expect a lot out of Leia. I get so angry when her room looks like a pigsty and when she writes on every last piece of paper she can find. As a mother you wonder if the strict routine you put in place and keeping close tabs on them may make them resent you in some way. I always hope that it makes them feel safe and poems/letters that Leia sends me reassure me that despite my many mis-steps, she and I are building a relationship that can endure throughout both our lives.