Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Blue eyes

I've been feeling really reflective today. About my children especially and our family. I think sometimes I get very caught up in wordly concerns and all of that. To start the day off, it was grey and raining yet again. It's hard not to be inward when there is no sunshine. When the sun is shining away, I tend towards carelessness but in a good way. I mean that I don't worry or assess myself to a large degree. I just go through the day enjoying things for what they are. Living in the moment I suppose. But today I was a bit grumpy when I woke and the grey skies threw me into excessive thought. Like concerns such as whether I am truly committed to motherhood and what it takes. Why do I get upset over the children making noise when they play? That's what children do. Am I prepared to sit down every evening in the ever fast approaching future and help three kids with three sets of homework? Do we really need a fifth bedroom and basement for our ever expanding household? I know families of bigger than ours live in smaller spaces but sometimes I feel like we are outgrowing this house. I wonder if I have sent Leia off to school feeling positive. I literally see her for about 40 minutes in which all she hears from me is "get dressed, eat your breakfast, settle down, brush your teeth, put your shoes on," and all that.


But in the end, the conclusion I've come to is that it is good to take stock of where we are and where we want to be, but not to let it discourage us. These are days where we make goals and move forward. It would be nice to have bedrooms for four children plus a guest room and a playroom in a basement but I think while we work towards our material wishlist, we shouldn't put our eternal wishlist on hold.


One thing which makes me smile anytime are the darling faces of my children. In particular the deep blue eyes they are all blessed with. Here are pictures of those peepers. I'm sure they could chase away the cynic in anyone!



Leia age 2.




Spencer age 9 months.




Nathan age 3 months.