A few thoughts.....

Today I had one of those scary "I love my life and everyone in it" kind of moments. Scary because I always worry the bottom may drop out if I acknowledge those feelings.
Now I may not have a husband that looks like Colin Firth (he's in my head naturally because he won an oscar for a fabulous performance in a fabulous film last night) but I have certainly won the husband lottery. This morning I got up and went to get Oliver from his crib. He had been given a bottle, had a clean diaper and smelled like my husband's cologne. It made me smile all over and inside to imagine Gary kissing and cuddling Oliver before he went to work and then changing him and feeding him. Gary is one of a kind and I'm not saying that just because most women when pressed will say their husband's great. He truly knows what life is about and it's rare, and he's mine.

Today I decided that 13 months is old enough to introduce the word no to my son. I've always thought that the way babies discover the world through their mouths is so cute and amazing but not when they are about to insert the sponge you just used to clean the bathroom into their mouth. I saw this from a short distance and was worried that I wouldn't reach him in time so I issued a stern "NO". He jumped out of his skin and his bottom lip began to tremble but he dropped the sponge like it was diseased which it very well could have been. I felt kind of bad but a reassuring cuddle banished the moment from his little mind and the sponge was locked under my sink. Result!

And here is a picture I discovered on Leia's camera. I check it from time to time. I think all my kids have a unique perspective of each other and I think this face from Oliver may have been something only she could get out of him.

Now I don't know what she was doing but it must have been very funny as that is a belly laugh!

Another snow day and the thoughts that ensue.....

Snow days and sickness really throw me off. I'm a routine oriented person and I suppose it goes back to the days when I had a regular bedtime growing up and we always had dinner at 6pm. Last week was kind of hard for me and this week may be shaping up to be similar. The kids were off school for a total of three days last week. Starting after Thanksgiving I made a promise to myself to be healthier and more moderate in my habits. What kind of happened was that I went all boot camp on myself to get myself to a certain place and now that I am almost there I am struggling with the moderation part.

Since November 28th I have lost 18lbs and have been exercising on average three times per week. Last week I didn't exercise for even 5 minutes and I am struggling with the guilt. And Saturday I woke up feeling not so great. By Sunday it was a full blown, I can't smell or taste a thing, head cold/sinus infection. I felt terrible. I still felt crummy yesterday and so no exercise. I was planning on really throwing myself back into it this morning. I expected a two hour delay with the storm but not another district closure for the whole day. I finally feel like I'm not operating through a dense fog but I have 4 energetic kids to field. Even if I put Oliver down for a nap, thinking I could get 30 minutes of exercise in without someone having a crisis would be naive.

So snow days mean chocolate chip pancakes. And honey vanilla fat free greek yogurt loses it's allure when in the company of pancakes. And snow days mean movies and popcorn and popcorn without tons of butter is just not the same, I'm sure anyone would agree. And how on earth do you combat temperatures in the negatives without hot chocolate? But I'm to the point where these things scare me a little. I'm not sure I know exactly how do do moderation long term. It's been such a roller coaster having 4 children in the last 10 years and most of the time I have not bothered with being moderate because I've been on the "well we might have another baby so what's the point?" kind of mind set. Now I have well and truly said goodbye to my 20s and have embarked upon my 30s, my body is different. While it may have taken a week or two to lose 5lbs in days gone by, it now takes at least a month.

I know I'll find that balance with persistence and practice. I certainly am not willing to give up pancakes on a snowy house bound morning and I hate torturing myself over online menus every time I go out to dinner with friends or family. But neither am I willing to give up the way I feel when I eat healthily the majority of the time. Routines are my friend. I do so much better when everyone has a place to be and I can set aside that time for exercise and for keeping the house well in order.

I guess I'm off to rent "Cats and Dogs The Revenge of Kitty Galore." I'm pretty sure that's going to have me reaching for the chocolate before we're halfway through!