Crazy Town

Something for my filing cabinet in cyberspace.

2011-08-16T16:59:00.001-07:00

A lot has certainly happened since I last wrote. Sometimes I can go months without feeling the need to write but then I HAVE to. I have been a few chapters away from finishing a novel for the past year but I haven't quite got it together to finish it. It's not even writer's block. My head is filled with ideas that just need some sort of escape route but then it all gets poured into something else like decorating my huge basement room that has stood empty for the past year and just seemed to be too sad to stay that way. We also went on vacation when my Mum came out to visit us and I became absorbed in making sure that 6 sets of clothing remained somewhat organized throughout the almost 10 day road trip.

The kids have since started school and now at 3.45pm every day I get swallowed in three sets of homework, which I somehow have to organize (my children won't organize themselves) while preparing dinner, trying to remember that I have a cub scout now, and taking care of an 18 month old who this week came down with this rather horrible throat/sinus thing that has him sounding like he's a habitual smoker.

Spencer was recently prescribed contact lenses for his Astigmatism since an eye condition he has called Nystagmus prevents glasses from really helping. I hate to imagine what his vision is with nothing - glasses can get him to 20/80 but contacts can bring him up to 20/60. This has been something which has also commandeered a large part of my brain, even keeping me up at night trying not to worry about getting them successfully on his eyes before he has to be out the door to school.

I don't even know who if anyone ever reads this blog since I've become so sporadic but I can feel the tension ebbing away as I write this and that in itself is probably the main reason I still keep a blog. Just sorting through my thoughts in a tangible way such as this helps me to stay on top of things and I can't lie - I have an element of me (quite large) that needs to be in control of my little world. Today I cleaned the house and I had to mentally force myself to stop peering at the baseboards for dust and play with Oliver. It's quite the challenge keeping that part of me in check when inevitably, having 4 children in the house will cause a few messes. I almost hyperventilated when I went downstairs this afternoon and found most of the cushions of my new sofa on the floor arranged into a fort.

The reason I turned here this evening was just life really. Gary had a work meeting and couldn't get home until around 6pm and 4-6pm are the busiest time of the day for me. Spencer was having a hard time with a piece of math homework. Isn't it always math? He was crying, begging for help and then loudly arguing that 3 quarters added up to 70 cents and nothing I could say made a difference. Oliver was crying the entire time with his pitiful little hoarse voice and Nathan was downstairs removing the couch cushions. I was also trying to prevent a pan of rice from becoming the most inedible thing I have ever cooked. I wrote Spencer's teacher an interesting email I hope he will put down to a momentary lapse of sanity and almost headed to the corner to assume the fetal position.

So here I am listening loudly to Nadia Ali while I just exorcise the demons. I think I need Dumbledore's Pensieve.

So Leia also has an Astigmatism. She thankfully is happy to have glasses and is able to see a noticeable difference when she wears them.

The new family room is a great place to read at bedtime. This is what I can happily say is now taking place as I have this minute to myself.

The cabinet I now have to put my old books in. No more 120 year old copies of Great Expectations by Charles Dickens getting their covers ripped off any more!

The cool photo of the London Eye I got for my wall. I took the exact same view myself when I was there in March only this one I found online is way better. It has atmosphere and mine just looked dull.

Us on holiday. We were having a lovely time. I thought getting the kids back to school was my Utopia but looking back I miss those lazy days of Summer. Well...a little bit!

The green room and the graduating class of 2023!

2011-05-25T19:23:00.000-07:00

I'm so tired I think the only thing I could do tonight would be type. I've been working hard on Spencer's bedroom for the past several days and I finished it today. It took most of the day to get it all together. Not to mention the two entire days of painting first (well two days in between everything else I still have to do!) I love the way it turned out and Spencer's thrilled too, especially with the papasan chair.

This evening we had to go to Nathan's Kindergarten Graduation. Now I love my crazy and entertaining Nathan to bits but at this point I'm rather over this kind of thing. I was amazed at the parents that showed up with bouquets of flowers and balloons with "GRADUATE" on them. I mean, they DO know that no one's actually graduating from anything right?

The gym was way over capacity and hot. I felt extremely claustrophobic and it seemed so long as they read name after name followed by parents snapping pictures. I, of course, took my pictures as well. I wouldn't want Nathan to feel short changed sometime in the misty future because I took better pictures at Leia's pre-school graduation than I did at his kindergarten graduation. Actually I did but there were a tenth of the people at that particular event which makes for easier photo taking.

So here's to the graduating class of 2023. Whoohoo!

This last picture is the best because it was taken outside. The red eye in the gym pictures is awful. I just wasn't in the mood to fiddle about with the settings, not when Oliver was climbing the walls.

WALKING!!!!

2011-05-23T16:17:00.000-07:00

Well, after many thoughts about the "normal" development of babies, Oliver is finally walking at almost 16 months. I must have done a fair few google searches on developmental milestones and looked at the rather intimidating statistic that 90% of babies walk by 14 months one too many times. It seems silly to worry about that stuff since he has been saying words - morning, ma ma, daa (daddy), bye, night night to name a few, he tries to get the attention of anyone who comes near him, and he dances, but as a mother you can't seem to help it. So it has been my mission to coax him into it. For quite a while now I have been holding things just out of his reach and until today he has resisted the bait. So he has wobbled up and down while I desperately tried to record the moment. Fun stuff! Here are the pictures I managed to get.

Looks like it's time to get some ink on those feet!

The Easter Bunny

2011-04-23T18:10:00.001-07:00

Today we were wandering around the mall and the kids got a bug to go and see the Easter Bunny. Now I'm not too fond of the Easter Bunny. In fact I think the whole idea is close to ludicrous. I can get behind Santa as he has his roots in an actual person who did good works and gifts are an integral part of what Christmas is about. But leprechauns and giant bunnies. I don't think so. I've already told the children that I am the Easter Bunny, and although Leia continues to pretend it's not true, I really just want my children to appreciate Easter for what it actually is. A holy holiday which I prefer just to celebrate in church and through devotional activities. I will make devilled eggs tomorrow (mostly because I love them) and the kids will get a small amount of chocolate but generally that is it for me. I do love photos though, and this one is pretty good. I was concerned that Oliver might freak out at the sight of this gigantic bunny, but I think he just thought he was a toy. I love to be with them all and I feel such a sense of self in my role as a mother. As time has gone on, it has become a more and more fulfilling job - if you can call motherhood something as mundane as a job.

You might be able to guess that pictures of my kids with the Easter Bunny are not very plentiful but I was feeling a little nostalgic after I brought the picture home and so here are the only other Easter Bunny pictures I have.

This is Easter 2003. I was 8 months pregnant with Spencer and Leia wouldn't sit with the Bunny unless we both sat with her.

This is Easter 2004. The thing I think of when I look at this picture is how nice that sweater Leia is wearing was. It was lined with a super soft fleece and was nice and heavy so she could wear it as jacket. But their faces say it all. That's why I said yes when a visit to the bunny was suggested today. It's all in good fun (in small doses). There may not be another bunny picture for another 7 years!

And in case you were wondering, the leprechaun does NOT visit the Asp house.

England, March 2011

2011-04-07T08:47:00.000-07:00

So here are my long overdue pictures from my trip to England with Leia. We had the most fantastic time and the only bad thing about the trip was that it was too short. Leia was a total Angel the entire time and was so much fun to travel with. ENJOY! On the plane from Denver to Charlotte. Leia loved flying and while I don't mind it, she had such joy in the experience that it rubbed off on me. We looked out the window together, she drew pictures for the flight crew (on the flight from Charlotte to London) and we ate our not too nice plane food with as much enjoyment as if they had been our favorite restaurant dishes.

Jet lagged Leia taking a bath after the long voyage. Baths are so much better in a claw footed tub, don't you think?

My brother in law Ben helping my sister make a delicious Sunday dinner. I do love to see a man in the kitchen.

My sister's stuffing wrapped in bacon. Seriously the most delicious morsel you'll ever taste. And she had also saved a Christmas pudding for me which she served for dessert that day. I hate to say that going to England is all about the food but sometimes it just is!

My gorgeous sister who also is my go to girl for shopping advice - I mean can you blame me?

My best friend.

Me with both my best friends. SO good to spend time with them!

Leia with her cousin Cate. Cate is seriously the funniest little girl. I couldn't stop kissing those cheeks.

Here's one of her favorite funny faces. It looks like she is about to swallow you.

Leia and Max on the ipad. The ipad was quite the hit with everyone.

I love this picture. Cousin Max was so thrilled that Leia was visiting him. She played with Max and Cate every chance she got.

Leia and Great Nan Foster. It was so good to see my Grandparents on my Mum's side. They loved seeing Leia as well and even though Leia doesn't remember them so well it's as if they were never apart.

Leia and Great Grandad Foster

One thing I'll always remember about my school days in the UK was making daisy chains on the school field at lunchtimes. I couldn't wait to show Leia how to do it as I've never seen those tiny daisies in America. They'll always be one of my favorite flowers.

Leia playing with Cate at a playground in my Grandparents neighborhood.

On the train to London with Auntie Rachel. Going on the tube was a thrill for Leia. She made sure she always had a map with her and knew exactly where we were going and how many stops we still had to go.

In London, getting ready to go on a trip on the London Eye.

Leia taking a picture of Big Ben on the London Eye. Her camera was full of pictures of Big Ben, double decker buses, post boxes, telephone boxes, dishes we ate, English currency and Max and Cate pulling faces.

Enjoying the views on the London Eye.

Me and Sissy. Waiting for The Lion King to start. So exciting. Leia had the best time as she was seated in the aisle. She got a book with pictures in from the show and ice cream in the interval. She says it's her favorite part of the trip. Eating out after the show. The food was excellent but each and every wall in the toilet was mirrored. NOT such a fun experience! Leia was so pooped after our day in London. She loves writing down how she feels. This is a napkin in the restaurant.

A tranquil walk through the woods where my Dad is buried. Such a beautiful place that I actually want to go to. I only wish I could go more often.

Leia hanging out her smalls to dry. In England, hanging out your washing is nothing short of a righteous endeavor, something to aspire to, yet here in America it carries a stigma. Of course this is the land of the Hummer and fridges that you can fit an entire person inside of!

Cate and Rachel.

Leia with my brother Simon. Leia and Simon are kindred spirits.

Auntie Sarah, my brother's wife with Leia and I in a shack by the beach. The only bad weather day of the whole trip is the day we set aside to go to the seaside. At least hot chocolate and a full English breakfast in that heat free shack was very fun.

Waiting for our full English!

Frozen Cate. The rain chilled us to the bone.

Going on the bumper cars with Auntie Sarah warmed Leia up a little. We also went on the world's oldest roller coaster, one we've all been on many times in our lives before and it never gets old, from the creaking wood, to nothing but momentum keeping the thing going!

The three Boycott kids. How I love my siblings!

The trampoline Max got for his birthday and which me and Rachel spent three punishing hours putting together one afternoon. At least we forgot about that when having fun bouncing on it.

Having a camera that can take multiple shots a second comes in handy once in a while.

Showing off the nests she made with Auntie Sarah. In England you can get shredded wheat in large size and you crumble it up, mix it with melted chocolate and form it into nests. Then you put Cadbury's mini eggs in the nest - REAL Cadbury's mini eggs, not the ones Hershey makes under the Cadbury name. YUM YUM!

While I had the most amazing time I missed my boys quite a bit. Gary shaved their heads while I was gone, spilled something pink on the carpet and spent loads of money on blu-rays and board games, and ate way too much pizza. They needed me home after 10 days, that's for sure. I'm already trying to cook up plans for all of us to go next time. Summer 2012 would be perfect. Now how can I rustle up about $10,000. Ideas????

Happy Birthday Nathan!

2011-03-02T21:11:00.000-08:00

What would we ever do without you Nathan? I hope you are always so optimistic and that you always wear your heart on your sleeve as you do. Every single morning you ask me if you have been an angel, meaning did you wake me up through your loud playing or were you quiet. You want me to look into your eyes and tell you that you are an angel. It brings such a smile to your face. You ARE an angel. From the first moment I looked at your little face you have been a constant joy. You smiled earlier and more than any of my children and still to this day you more often than not have a joyful expression on your face. You are the only one of my children who tells me you love me without me saying it first.

HAPPY 6TH BIRTHDAY NATHAN!

A few thoughts.....

2011-02-28T09:28:00.000-08:00

Today I had one of those scary "I love my life and everyone in it" kind of moments. Scary because I always worry the bottom may drop out if I acknowledge those feelings.
Now I may not have a husband that looks like Colin Firth (he's in my head naturally because he won an oscar for a fabulous performance in a fabulous film last night) but I have certainly won the husband lottery. This morning I got up and went to get Oliver from his crib. He had been given a bottle, had a clean diaper and smelled like my husband's cologne. It made me smile all over and inside to imagine Gary kissing and cuddling Oliver before he went to work and then changing him and feeding him. Gary is one of a kind and I'm not saying that just because most women when pressed will say their husband's great. He truly knows what life is about and it's rare, and he's mine.

Today I decided that 13 months is old enough to introduce the word no to my son. I've always thought that the way babies discover the world through their mouths is so cute and amazing but not when they are about to insert the sponge you just used to clean the bathroom into their mouth. I saw this from a short distance and was worried that I wouldn't reach him in time so I issued a stern "NO". He jumped out of his skin and his bottom lip began to tremble but he dropped the sponge like it was diseased which it very well could have been. I felt kind of bad but a reassuring cuddle banished the moment from his little mind and the sponge was locked under my sink. Result!

And here is a picture I discovered on Leia's camera. I check it from time to time. I think all my kids have a unique perspective of each other and I think this face from Oliver may have been something only she could get out of him.

Now I don't know what she was doing but it must have been very funny as that is a belly laugh!

Another snow day and the thoughts that ensue.....

2011-02-08T10:26:00.000-08:00

Snow days and sickness really throw me off. I'm a routine oriented person and I suppose it goes back to the days when I had a regular bedtime growing up and we always had dinner at 6pm. Last week was kind of hard for me and this week may be shaping up to be similar. The kids were off school for a total of three days last week. Starting after Thanksgiving I made a promise to myself to be healthier and more moderate in my habits. What kind of happened was that I went all boot camp on myself to get myself to a certain place and now that I am almost there I am struggling with the moderation part.

Since November 28th I have lost 18lbs and have been exercising on average three times per week. Last week I didn't exercise for even 5 minutes and I am struggling with the guilt. And Saturday I woke up feeling not so great. By Sunday it was a full blown, I can't smell or taste a thing, head cold/sinus infection. I felt terrible. I still felt crummy yesterday and so no exercise. I was planning on really throwing myself back into it this morning. I expected a two hour delay with the storm but not another district closure for the whole day. I finally feel like I'm not operating through a dense fog but I have 4 energetic kids to field. Even if I put Oliver down for a nap, thinking I could get 30 minutes of exercise in without someone having a crisis would be naive.

So snow days mean chocolate chip pancakes. And honey vanilla fat free greek yogurt loses it's allure when in the company of pancakes. And snow days mean movies and popcorn and popcorn without tons of butter is just not the same, I'm sure anyone would agree. And how on earth do you combat temperatures in the negatives without hot chocolate? But I'm to the point where these things scare me a little. I'm not sure I know exactly how do do moderation long term. It's been such a roller coaster having 4 children in the last 10 years and most of the time I have not bothered with being moderate because I've been on the "well we might have another baby so what's the point?" kind of mind set. Now I have well and truly said goodbye to my 20s and have embarked upon my 30s, my body is different. While it may have taken a week or two to lose 5lbs in days gone by, it now takes at least a month.

I know I'll find that balance with persistence and practice. I certainly am not willing to give up pancakes on a snowy house bound morning and I hate torturing myself over online menus every time I go out to dinner with friends or family. But neither am I willing to give up the way I feel when I eat healthily the majority of the time. Routines are my friend. I do so much better when everyone has a place to be and I can set aside that time for exercise and for keeping the house well in order.

I guess I'm off to rent "Cats and Dogs The Revenge of Kitty Galore." I'm pretty sure that's going to have me reaching for the chocolate before we're halfway through!

A walk down memory lane.

2011-01-26T18:00:00.000-08:00

First we celebrated a wonderful year of having this sweet girl in our lives. She and Oliver have some very similar facial expressions.

And then we celebrated a year of having this little guy with us. He has an interesting personality to say the least and perhaps a bit more than his siblings, he ADORES Oliver.

After a lovely year with the second little Asp guy, we had no idea what a whirlwind we had on our hands. He doesn't believe Oliver needs any personal space/boundaries.

And then there is Oliver. He became momentarily shy as Gary put the cupcake in front of him and we all started staring at him.

But who can resist yummy chocolate cupcakes with banana and a hint of coconut frosted with a whipped chocolate ganache? Can you tell I have progressed in the skill of baking (especially presentation) since Leia, Spencer and Nathan?

It didn't take too long for him to decide to give the whole sugar experience his best shot.

And he decided he liked it. A LOT!

And what better way to finish off dinner than with a good old fashioned raspberry. Oliver thinks we all enjoy being sprayed by chocolate spittle, indeed any kind of spittle.

It's a brave new world...

2011-01-25T19:35:00.000-08:00

Oliver's hair has been getting longer and longer. Now I'm not about to get out the clippers, but his hair is dead straight so it's in his eyes and over his ears. I would love for it to curl up a bit, but it just doesn't. So I popped him in the bumbo and gave him a trim. Now it's not perfect but he kept twisting his head and trying to grab the scissors. I gave him a flashlight, a lego motorcycle, a medicine syringe, a (sealed) bottle of ibuprofen, the comb, and also had bright cartoons on the TV. Nothing was as interesting as what I was doing. He turns one in two days and with the haircut he really looks like a little one year old. And he's acting more like it. He's only a little bean weighing in at 22lbs, but he knows what he wants and goes for it. He's frequently pulling himself up on things and hurting himself on the way down. He's my constant companion in the kitchen these days and he loves emptying my lower drawers. I can't have him play in the bathtub while I take a shower anymore as he can stand up and turn the faucet on. I can see the lovely baby stage disappearing rapidly to be replaced by the exciting life that is parenting a toddler. I'm a little melancholy but so grateful to have my Oliver.

BEFORE:

AFTER:

I'll be sleeping in tomorrow!

2011-01-14T19:26:00.000-08:00

Today has been a mixed bag all around. I went to a Pride Assembly at the kids' school and Leia got an award for reading as well as for scoring proficient/advanced proficient in all her work. She's taking some pride in her school work at long last. It only took Kindergarten-4th grade to get there!

Then I had a friend come over and bring lunch. We chatted for a few hours and I really love the company of this particular friend.

Then later Gary came home from work so I could take Oliver to a 4.40pm doctor's appointment. I enjoyed a lovely 40 minute wait in the office with a very fussy 11 month old who just wants to crawl around and poke through people's purses. Sure enough, he has an ear infection again. The doctor asked me what pharmacy I'd like the prescription sent to and I told her.

I arrived at the pharmacy at about 5.45pm and no prescription had been sent. I waited about 15 minutes. Still no prescription. Then I called Gary and he called the doctor for me. They had sent it to the wrong pharmacy and said they would fax it in right away. By 6.20pm, still no prescription. I decided to take Oliver home since he was miserable and feeding him and putting him to bed couldn't be put off.

I took him home to Gary and turned around again to go back to the Pharmacy. When I got there, there was still no prescription. I was feeling extremely angry and a bit silly at this point. I got Gary to call the doctor and get mad. It's not like I was waiting for some medical marijuana. It was antibiotics for an 11 month old baby with an ear infection that has been causing night time pain for the last two nights and temperatures of 102-103 degrees. Eventually the doctor got on the phone with the pharmacist at 7pm (lucky I guess that my doctor stays open until then). I eventually left the pharmacy at about 7.25pm.

While I was waiting the 20 minutes for them to fill the prescription I was sorely tempted to buy lots of chocolate and eat it. I always want to do that when I'm stressed. I also wanted to hop on over to Mcdonalds and get a large fries and milkshake. And I'm not going to lie and say I didn't want a box of croissants as well. But I made a commitment to putting myself first and I know how I feel when I eat things that aren't good for me. I am worth the effort!

So when I finally got home and made myself some whole wheat toast, I opened up my computer to discover an email from Spencer's teacher informing me that he threatened to beat a little boy up at school today. It sounds bad and definitely unacceptable but Spencer likes to follow the crowd and is very influenced by others. He is often convinced that bad behavior is somehow cool. I don't think he'd actually hit someone but what if I do have a thug in my house disguised as a rather cute 7 year old? Maybe I should have bought the chocolate!

This week has exhausted me. I don't really have a brain cell left to consider how we're going to deal with Spencer. But at least my happy, contented baby should be back very soon, and I decorated Leia's room. The house is pretty tidy. I let a few things slide but it's not at all unbearable. I don't want a sick baby and a room to paint on top of my normal routine every week but I made it through.

* For those who were wondering, Leia loves her new room and I didn't exactly do the wall art myself. The flowers are vinyl wall decals and the butterflies are little mirrors. I just applied them artistically. To be honest it required a little ingenuity since the textured walls do not lend themselves easily to this type of project but I'm pleased with how it turned out.

Done!

2011-01-13T14:24:00.000-08:00

Well in between taking care of a fussy fussy, hot baby who I am fairly sure has another ear infection, I powered on and finished Leia's room. CHECK.

Now I can get the rest of the house back into shape, exercise, and not buy toblerones or einstein bros bagels because I am stressed.

Hope you like it.

BEFORE:

AFTER:

Scaling it back

2011-01-12T08:02:00.000-08:00

This week I think I have taken on a bit too much. I decided to paint Leia's bedroom. Ever since we moved in she has been on at me to do her room. It has been three years since she has been in a truly personalized space of her own. We left her pink bedroom in Ohio to move into a rental house and even though she had her things it never felt like HER room. So Saturday we went and picked out a paint color. It's called Berry Punch.

I made a goal to get her room painted this week. Of course that doesn't cancel out all the other stuff I have to do like provide three meals a day for 6 people, do probably 6 loads of laundry, make sure toilets are clean, and workout at least three times this week (a goal I set myself over the last few months).

Yesterday was quite hard. I had to go out to run a few errands, I had to finish the first coat in Leia's room, wash Oliver's bed linen, and clean one of the bathrooms. I also had to do the regular stuff. So there I was in Leia's room at 4pm rolling the walls, the kids come home from school and literally BEG me to take them to Skate City for a school fundraising event. I was looking lovely as you can imagine and dinner wasn't even yet in the works.

As I sat in Skate City I realized that if I'm grumpy and stressed at all of my family, all the achievements won't matter much. This morning I am watching my friend's little boy and Oliver had a temperature when he woke up. So the working out is off for today. I am struggling with taking a break from the painting. I just want to get it done. If Oliver is settled this afternoon I might push to get that done so that I can go back to being super Mom.

And I also had to deal with Leia this morning. She pulled another "I don't feel good" thing. I could tell she was tired and sore from going to Skate City last night. She and Spencer were tearing around the hall at pretty good speeds and doing plenty of tumbling as well.
There was a "Donuts with Dad" event at school this morning at 7.45am and when Gary left with the kids, Leia had realized that I was concerned about their health since I had discovered Oliver's temperature.

Sure enough, Gary brought Leia home with him after the breakfast. It's hard to always be the bad guy since a few tears from Leia convinces Gary she's on death's door every time. But she had no temperature, no other real symptoms aside from fatigue from a late night and probably sore tummy muscles which she interpreted as a tummy ache. Skating definitely engages the core muscles and they don't do it all that often. So I took away the half eaten donut, gave her one slice of whole wheat toast and asked Gary to take her back to school. More tears ensued which made it even harder for Gary to take her back. If he hadn't brought her home in the first place it would have been a whole lot easier.

So I'm endeavoring to give myself a bit of a break. If I don't finish Leia's room by the weekend (although I most likely will), or a clean floor has to give way to cuddling a hot little baby then oh well! And since I've lost 15lbs since I started my "taking care of myself" goal, I guess one less workout this week won't make a massive amount of diference.

Pictures to follow........

2010 in review

2010-12-30T15:31:00.000-08:00

January - Oliver joined our family and we were all instantly and deeply in love with him. He is NEVER allowed to be alone unless he's sleeping and we're hoping that it doesn't turn out to have a negative effect on his personality. Mum came to be with me during the last week of my pregnancy and to help out with Oliver and the other children.

February - Mum was with us all month long and she was the greatest support when certain aspects of being a mother once again hit me hard and were a challenge. Gary crashed the van, was thankfully fine and neither one of us got much sleep.

March - Nathan turned 5. I went on a quest to catch one of Oliver's first smiles on camera and finally succeeded. Life was all about how to juggle the numerous and very different needs of 4 children. I was exhausted.

April - We decided to buy a house. It was an exciting time yet we were daunted by just how many neighborhoods and homes there are in Colorado Springs. We decided to narrow our search to 5 bedrooms and the task seemed less daunting. We found the "perfect" home for us but it wasn't in our current ward boundaries and the kids would have to change schools. But no matter how I tried to keep looking, I was scared to lose the house. So we offered and the decision was made. We terrorized a Macy's employee looking for a new sofa.

May - Leia turned 9 and added attitude to her list of talents. Spencer turned 7. We moved in to our new home.

It's 4 years old. 3100 square feet. 5 bedrooms. 3 bathrooms. Landscaped in front and back with a hot tub. Three car garage. Lots of hardwood floor (alleluia!) The street is a horseshoe shape so only the people who live on the street drive on it so the kids are safe. It's one block from school. There's a huge empty family room downstairs that is full of potential. I have a room to put all my books in affectionately named the library although it's far from deserving such a grand title. It took me all of a couple of weeks to go buy paint and get out the ladder to reach the top of our 10 ft ceilings. We spent a lot of time in Pier 1, World Market, and Lowes. We can see ourselves here for a very long time. Gary's Mom came out to visit. Gary started a new job.

June - I injured my foot from wobbling around on the top rung of the ladder. I hobbled around for a while and then it got better. I thought about my Dad a lot. Gary really enjoyed his new job. We felt very blessed.

July - The kids and I began to go a little stir crazy in the last few weeks of the summer holiday. I was trying to get Oliver on a nap schedule which proved to be difficult with everyone around all the time. Spencer split his head open for about the third time but since we've been around the block and back with this sort of thing, it wasn't very traumatic. I made some new friends.

August - School started again and the kids love their new school and teachers. Nathan had a few problems with what was expected of him behavior wise. We enjoyed the beautiful weather and Gary fixed the hot tub which had suffered when our house was on the market over the winter. Oliver went on a pacifier strike for a couple of weeks and somehow managed to become more adorable than ever.

September - Mum, Rachel, Max and Cate came to visit. We had a fabulous time and I really enjoyed driving up Pikes Peak, going to Manitou Springs, Old Colorado City, and just spending time with my family. Hanging with the cousins was a big treat for the kids. Oliver had to have his first hair cut at 7 months old, probably a year before any of his siblings had to have their first hair cut.

October - I spent a lot of time planning when and how I could get to England since it has been 2 years since I was there last and not for the happiest of reasons. I began to concoct a plan. Gary's Dad and his stepmom Cinda came out to visit over Halloween.

November - I did a month of Thanksgiving again. It was good to do because I realized just how blessed I am. Gary bought me tickets to go to England to visit my family with Leia over Spring break. I ate way too much over Thanksgiving and re-dedicated myself to eating healthily. I braved Black Friday albeit at a much later start time than most people and Leia and I saw Tangled. I got the majority of our Christmas Shopping done. Everyone in the house but me got a horrible stomach virus.

December - I enjoyed a very relaxed and stress-free Christmas season. Leia and I got excited and started making plans for our upcoming trip. Gary and I celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary. I started a little work out routine in the house as well as eating smaller portions of healthier foods. I feel great and my clothes are all looser. I think this is the first time I've ever felt thinner and more in control right after Christmas, as opposed to the other way around.

Looking ahead to 2011:

Our upcoming trip is much on Leia's and my mind.

Oliver turns 1 at the end of January and I can hardly believe it.

I plan to make sure that I continue to take care of myself. My body has been on loan to the children on and off for the last 10 years and it's time that I make taking good care of it a priority.

We would like to be able to do a few things around the house.

Spencer is going to be baptized in May.

We are going to travel to Illinois over next summer and as well as reuniting with family we hope to visit Nauvoo.

Today....

2010-12-30T15:20:00.000-08:00

Christmas Day

2010-12-25T19:44:00.000-08:00

My kids never cease to amaze me. Each year I think it's going to be the year that they wake up at 4am and wake us up too. But so far it's never happened. I certainly wasn't as good to my parents. Last night we told the kids we did not want to get up before 7am and sure enough they quietly woke us up at 7am on the dot and before then we hadn't heard a peep out of them. I had made up my mind that I wanted to just play with the kids and enjoy the day without spending hours in the kitchen so we purposely made more food yesterday when we had friends over to eat with us, play games and celebrate. There were tons of leftovers.

It was a lovely morning. We opened presents and all got what we wanted. Gary built legos and more legos with the boys. Leia and I baked cakes in her Easy Bake Oven. We web cammed and spoke with family. Nathan could NOT tear himself away from his Nintendo DS.

At about 2pm Gary was looking a little stiff from all the building and I was feeling a little green from all the foods containing cream cheese and sour cream, not to mention the chocolate I got in my stocking, and the honey baked ham. So we decided to take a walk to the park so Nathan could try out his new scooter and Spencer could drive his RC monster truck. The weather here is consistently great and I don't think (for an English girl) that I will ever get tired of sunshine in the middle of winter. We all felt much better afterwards and it gave us some extra steam to clean up all the mess. And boy was there a mess. We were knee deep in it.

Once the mess was cleaned, Leia and I played Guess Who, the boys and Gary played Operation and then I got the trifle ready. Nathan and Oliver went to bed exhausted and Gary, Leia, Spencer and I have been eating trifle and watching Bedknobs and Broomsticks. I now feel exhausted. I never sleep well the night before Christmas as I am excited for the kids. The hot tub is calling my name. It will be the ideal way to finish off the day.

Here are some pictures:

Before the carnage. Doesn't it look exciting?

Black Cherry trifle.

Spencer at the playground with his car.

Off walking.

Leia in a new sweater and hat outside the front door, waiting to go on the walk.

Oliver waiting to go on the walk with his new musical toy.

Legos.

Microscope from Nan and Grandad Foster.

Ooooh, what do I do with this?

Leia's ready to get on the plane tomorrow!

As soon as Nathan opened up his DS he was lost to us.

Pure delight!

Scrapbooking, no REALLY!

Look at that face. I could eat him up.

Oliver discovers the fun of a stocking.

The Crazies

2010-12-09T21:52:00.000-08:00

Today I took a photo to send to my grandparents in England for Christmas. I really feel like my irritating habit of poking my camera into my children's faces at every turn is paying off. The minute the older three got home from school I rushed them outside, put Oliver in Leia's arms and commanded them all to smile. This was literally the first or second shot and I love it. Looking at this photo makes me happy. You'd never guess that these four angels can be a serious handful when they want to be!

I'm not sure I could think of one more thing right now!

2010-11-30T21:02:00.000-08:00

1. I am thankful that I did this again. There's nothing else like it. I feel so blessed.

2. I am thankful that it is the start of December tomorrow. Advent here we come.

3. I am thankful that this is my last post of the month. I won't lie and say doing this every day is easy because there have been days where it's taken me 30 minutes of soul searching to come up with something that is genuine. But it's worth the effort as I said.

4. I am thankful for the friendship Nathan and Spencer share. Tonight I could hear them laying in bed talking quietly to one another. Eventually I had to go downstairs and tell them it was time to go to sleep but it brought back some treasured memories of Rachel and I talking late when we shared a bunk bed together.

5. I am thankful for the internet. Often I have complaints but overall it has done a lot to shrink the world for me and help me to be able to reach out to others and in turn to feel connected to dear friends and family who would almost be lost to me otherwise.

Grumpy

2010-11-29T18:00:00.000-08:00

I didn't have such a great day today but I don't have the energy to re-hash it all. I'm pooped and just do not want to be in front of a screen for any amount of time. So it's going to be lame.

1. I am thankful for Gary who is now doing the dishes. I guess that's not lame but I've said it before.

2. I am thankful I got some pressies wrapped today.

3. I am thankful for a couple of hours in which I get to do nothing if that's what I want.

4. I am thankful that I managed to get to Wal-mart before 9 this morning. It was so nice not to encounter lots of people. I DID NOT want to see people first thing this morning.

5. I am thankful that something I thought was going to cost $14 turned out to be only $4. Sometimes it's the small things.

Sunday

2010-11-28T18:15:00.000-08:00

1. I am thankful that Gary is recovering well.

2. I am thankful for the opportunity to go to church without Oliver. Whilst I'd love to say that I want to spend every waking minute with my lovely baby, it's just not true. Since Gary was staying at home I left Oliver with him and was actually able to enjoy the meeting a little more. Church is during naptime and Oliver won't settle so he is often grumpy and squirmy. Leia, Spencer and Nathan are pretty well behaved these days and once upon a time I wasn't sure if I'd ever say that.

3. I am thankful for my normal routine again tomorrow. I love celebrating but I appreciate the everyday things as well.

4. I am thankful for a sprinkling of snow. Nothing else makes me feel quite as Christmassy.

5. I am thankful for a sweet note of appreciation from one of my little class members today.

Play yard

2010-11-27T18:00:00.000-08:00

Today has been interesting. Gary and I travelled to our Temple in Denver and didn't make it through our visit because Gary experienced a sudden on-set of the stomach flu which all our kids have had over the last few weeks. It's actually a LOT more of a story than that but I'd rather not write about it here. Send me an email if you want the details :)

Anyway we're finally settled in for the evening. Gary is battling a fever and other lovely symptoms so I am getting my leftover Thanksgiving food on, just in case I am next. Bring on the pie!

1. I am thankful that Oliver's grandma bought him a play yard for Christmas. No more Christmas ornament casualties and I can get things done around the house without worrying that Oliver is going to ingest or worse, choke on a piece of lego.

2. I am thankful that we have friends who offered to watch our children so that we could go to the Temple, even if we didn't really do what we set out to.

3. I am thankful that our kids love their Nativity playset so much. It's so hard to teach kids about Christ, his birth, his life, and what it means when Santa and presents take center stage. I enjoy seeing the wooden figurines all scratched and bashed up from use.

4. I am thankful it was in the mid 50s today and sunshiny. The kids had fun at the park.

5. I am thankful that my sister lives close to my Mum. I know that when my Mum experiences the ups and downs of life, she has Rachel there to share them with. A phone call is not the same thing.

Black Friday.

2010-11-26T17:43:00.000-08:00

1. I am thankful for a wonderful day with my daughter.

2. I am thankful that going out on Black Friday was surprisingly stress free.

3. I am thankful for Disney. Tangled was amazing and perfect entertainment for a 9 year old who is so often bombarded by inappropriate things.

4. I am thankful for leftovers.

5. I am thankful that my tired children are in bed and I can now spend some time with the hubs.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2010-11-25T18:08:00.000-08:00

So I had to open my big mouth and blog about how thankful I was that Oliver hadn't gotten sick exactly three hours before he woke up covered in vomit. He then proceeded to unload every 20 minutes or so until about midnight when even though he was dry heaving we had to put him back to bed as we were all exhausted. And then Leia came upstairs feeling very panicked about something she couldn't articulate very well. After two unsuccessful attempts to get her to go to sleep in her bed she came to bed with us. This is something that has only happened one or two times in her 9 years of life so I knew she wasn't happy. She fell asleep in our bed and Gary was able to transfer her to her bed eventually. I think it was just a symptom of a weakened state from not eating yesterday. Today Oliver puked several times and Leia ate very little. Gary and I are tired. We are hoping for a decent night's sleep tonight. Gary has the boys all day while Leia and I are doing a little Christmas Shopping (after 9am of course) and going to watch Tangled.
Happy Thanksgiving to us!
But the day has actually been lovely. We feasted and played games and watched Christmas Movies.

1. I am thankful that Oliver is sleeping peacefully now. I will be even more thankful if he keeps down the 2oz of formula I coaxed hom to drink after he threw up the last time.

2. I am thankful for a husband who is happy to spend time with three small boys so I can take Leia out shopping tomorrow.

3. I am thankful for my beautiful family and holidays spent together. Of course I love to see my extended family but a day spent with Gary and the kids is enough and more for me. Hearing them laugh during Home Alone gives me a huge sense of peace and contentment. They are appreciative of my efforts to make the holidays special and they are a lot of fun to be around.

4. I am thankful for my home. Renting for two years recently was fine but not the same as living in a house that is yours. It's easy to take it for granted as we did during the 8 years we lived in houses we bought. I am really enjoying living in a house that's ours again. It's a big blessing.

5. I am thankful the kids have so far kept to the morning behaviour contract. Much less bickering has been the welcome result.

Sickness, a scare, and getting what I want.

2010-11-24T18:13:00.001-08:00

Last night just after 11pm when Gary and I had BARELY fallen asleep, Leia came silently into our room and reached out and touched Gary's neck. Gary thought he had a large bug crawling on him and reacted as you might expect, instantly scaring the crap out of me as well. Leia had thrown up and had come to us for comfort and a bowl. All day today she has been layed out on the couch looking like death. She is looking somewhat better this evening after a bath and some Tylenol, and hopefully she will be in top form tomorrow so she can eat some turkey.

1. I am thankful Leia decided that Daddy was the one she needed to wake last night. Needless to say he has asked her that should she need us tonight when we're in bed, could she please say something like "wake up Daddy" instead of her other approach.

2. I am thankful that the kids got over this virus thing more or less before the holidays. No one likes to be sick over the holidays.

3. I am thankful that the virus seems to have missed Gary, Oliver and I. NO ONE likes a sick man (they are ALWAYS on death's door) or a sick puking baby.

4. I am thankful to have found the time to prep for the meal tomorrow. I should have minimal cooking to do so that I can just relax, which even the cook deserves to do on Thanksgiving right?

5. I am thankful that I got the last lego set on the shelf this evening. Spencer wants a specific set for Christmas, and I decided on a whim that with Black Friday coming up I better get it now before they are sold out in stores for the next few weeks. I'm not the type of person to get up at 4am and race people to get a $5 discount either.

$100+ for one family meal - sounds reasonable right?

2010-11-23T17:19:00.000-08:00

Today I stopped to think about how much money I was spending on food for one day (Thanksgiving) and it blew my mind. Here is our menu.

Appetisers

Crab Rangoon
Spinach dip in Hawaiian bread
Smoked Paprika and Garlic dip with vegetable tray
Devilled Eggs
Little Smokies

I'm also putting out pistachios and clementines which will likely get eaten as well.

Dinner

Turkey which will have been brined and gravy
Cranberry sauce
Cranberry stuffing
Glazed carrots
Sweet potato casserole
Mashed potatoes
Green bean casserole

Dessert

Apple pie and cream
Prism Cake (a jello dessert that has become tradition in our house)

The kids will also want me to make them pancakes for breakfast and I've also bought some Italian soda from World Market.

I can at least comfort myself with the fact that the leftovers should last us a few days as well, so that I don't feel completely disgusted with myself. I estimate I spent at least $100 on the festivities. Is this normal people out there? I hope someone can let me know. I've done Thanksgiving for years now but not often stopped to weigh in on the excess of it all.

All that being said I LOVE to cook and will thoroughly enjoy the whole day. It's just a pity that it's going to be so cold because Gary won't want to put up the Christmas Lights on the house, something that takes all morning and keeps the boys out of my kitchen and my hair.

1. I am thankful that Gary has a good job.

2. I am thankful that my children have all that they need and more.

3. I am thankful that I've never been hungry unless it was a choice (dieting etc...)

4. I am thankful for the tradition of Thanksgiving. Even though the history behind the holiday makes me want to raise my eyebrows, the practice of giving thanks is commendable and something we should all do more often.

5. I am thankful that although my house isn't as perfectly put together as I'd like, it makes up for it in other ways. I have a centerpiece for the table on Thanksgiving which is an apple dressed up to look like a turkey that Leia made. Even if I don't have a completely matching set of dinner plates or even a gravy boat, the food will taste just as wonderful if not better because I'm cooking for 5 amazing people who I'd rather spend time with than anyone else.

On raising children.

2010-11-22T07:51:00.001-08:00

I know I'm supposed to be feeling thankful all month but this morning I need to vent just a little. Sometimes I feel I was dealt a difficult family dynamic. Having a girl for my eldest child and then three boys to follow. Leia craves my attention, she craves time away from her brothers from time to time. She is the ultimate girly girl with plenty of tomboy thrown in. She's a contradiction, she's complicated and emotional. Add to that three boys who love noise, wheels, lego battles, fun, fun, fun. (Well Oliver at 9 months is not quite there yet but I can tell he's going to be just like his older brothers)

This morning was a case in point. Because I was closing my eyes and trying to block out the chaos and noise - it was only 7am afterall, I don't know exactly how things went down. There was a lot of screaming, slamming doors, and tears. The word "butthole" was used maybe more than once. You see Leia doesn't want to be disturbed in her bedroom first thing in the morning yet she feels it's okay to stand in the doorway of Spencer and Nathan's room and ask them questions etc... This then invites them to engage with her and then all out war ensues.

Mornings have been a struggle for a while. My long running and hardly ever adhered to rule is that little people need to stay in their bedrooms and remain quiet until 7.30am when it is time to get up. We have a sleeping baby and Mommy who don't want to be jarred out of peaceful slumber by slamming doors and insults and/or an all out party. Perhaps I am asking too much but I lean toward the philosophy that I spend much of my waking hours serving my family so the least they can do is remain quiet until 7.30am. Being woken up like that really makes me feel grumpy and it's hard to shake. I was less than nice to everyone first thing and when Leia tried to apologise for her part in the proceedings I got even more angry and she was in floods of tears. Nothing irritates me more than apologies every morning for disobeying my one rule when I know tomorrow is going to be no different. When I was a kid I was taught that saying sorry meant you didn't do it again. The definition's a bit different in our house.

So TV was banned and will continue to be during the morning for Nathan and also after school. I also came up with this off-the-cuff idea that I am hoping will work. Leia and Spencer have Wednesday through Friday off school and I would REALLY like not to have to be woken up early on those days.
I drew up a contract laying out what I expect. All three kids have signed it and dire consequences await those who break their contractual obligations.
Here is the contract.

1. I will remain quiet until Mom or Dad get up to include no shouting, screaming or slamming doors.

2. I will stay out of any bedroom except my own which also includes no standing in doorways to ask questions or make observations.

3. I will not come upstairs and take food or any other items from the kitchen, living room or library.

I have three signatures indicating that they understand the expectations and they are prepared to give up any or all of the Thanksgiving festivities like movie going, cooking, shopping, game playing and Christmas decorating should they decide that bothering each other before 7.30am is more fun. It sounds extremely logical and a total no brainer to me but kids don't always operate logically.
Of course I won't be able to ban all the things I've promised to because I love them too. I am just hoping and praying that having TV banned for the whole of today will convince them I'm serious and that they will make good decisions.
I must say it's hard to guide your children. To help them to respect each other and those around them. It gets harder the older they get because they become susceptible to outside influences as well. I'm glad I have the strength to see this through and the desire. I think it's very easy to begin parenthood lightly with a head full of gorgeous babies but the reality is far from romantic. You have to be committed to the hard work and heartache that accompanies the responsibility. That's not to say it's not rewarding. It's the most fulfilling and joyful undertaking of my life.

1. I am thankful to be the mother of 4 healthy and energetic children.

2. I am thankful for the support of my husband in this journey. Together I think we can do anything.

3. I am thankful for the support of my extended family in the raising of my children. I often call my sister and mother needing desperately that little bit of advice or at least a sounding board for my latest discipline technique.

4. I am thankful that I have blogged about many of the struggles I've had in motherhood. Maybe wisdom will result from all this eventually and I can pass it on when my own children are parents.

5. I am thankful for the way I was brought up. I don't remember the specifics of how I was disciplined at all but what I do remember is the feeling that was in my home. It was unfiltered love and security. One place I always wanted to be was home and now approaching Christmastime I think about it a lot. About my Dad cooking Christmas dinner, about my Mum lifting me up as a very small child to open a door on an advent calendar, about my Dad drawing clues and placing them around the house so we could find an early gift on Christmas eve, and about the treats we'd make on Christmas Eve that I still make to this day.

I don't have much.......

2010-11-21T19:07:00.000-08:00

I am sitting here tonight literally racking my brain. I feel like anything I might say today would be repeating some form of something I've already said over the last 21 days. And some things I feel like saying sound horribly conceited. So I'm going to be really lame. Hopefully I'll be a bit more creative tomorrow.

1. I am thankful that my husband is rubbing my feet right now.

2. I am thankful for sweet and salty chex mix.

3. I am thankful for hot chocolate and a good book.

4. I am thankful for my down filled duvet and pillows.

5. I am thankful that Gary is now unloading and loading the dishwasher without me having asked him to. I know - don't hate me because I have an amazing husband.

Harry Potter

2010-11-20T19:32:00.001-08:00

Today while Gary and I were walking around the mall with the kids I suddenly decided that I couldn't wait until next weekend to see Harry Potter like we had previously decided. I got Gary to drop me at the movie theater. He watched the kids while I saw the movie and now he has gone back this evening to watch it himself. Normally I might not want to go see a movie alone but not so with Harry Potter. It's ALL about the movie. I really couldn't care less who was sitting next to me. I'm a fan.

1. I am thankful for Harry Potter. It has made me laugh and cry over the years. I hesitate to name my favorite book as I love so many but I think the Harry Potter series is a serious contender.

2. I am thankful for a husband who will go along with my whims.

3. I am thankful for a quiet evening to get my lesson for tomorrow prepared. I enjoy having Gary around but sometimes it means I get nothing productive done. Now my lesson is prepped, I can enjoy my Sunday morning by making pancakes for the kids and just relaxing.

4. I am thankful to live in a place where I can drive 20 minutes and be in the middle of the mountains, but also where I can get to Super Target and back in 20 minutes. Sometimes I feel spoiled.

5. I am thankful for a chat about East Anglia with a nice couple in the movie theater. I am always ready to talk about the place I grew up and love with those who also appreciate it. I am always surprised by how small the world is these days. I'm glad it's that way or I might be more homesick.

Lets dance!

2010-11-19T17:54:00.000-08:00

When I was pregnant with Oliver I listened to a lot of dance music particularly in the car when I had carpool responsibilities. When Oliver hears a beat these days, he starts bobbing his head up and down. I really think he likes music with a beat just like me. I'm not sure how much I believe when it comes to things like that but sometimes things seem to be too much of a coincidence - like the fact that Spencer will eat half a can of black olives like it's candy and I ate olives when I was pregnant with him. It's not like he could taste it or anything in there, yet he likes them quite a bit.

1. I am thankful for dancing babies.

2. I am thankful that my children will eat a bowl full of green salad and ask for more.

3. I am thankful for baby sleeping bags. Oliver flops around like a freshly caught fish throughout the night and as a result has been tossing off his blanket and waking up early with cold legs even though he's got footie pajamas on. He can't possibly get cold in this fleece sleeping bag I bought for him today. Bring on an extra hour of sleep :)

4. I am thankful that the kids don't get homework on a Friday night. I once thought naively that I would never have to do homework again once I had finished school. Ummm...so much for that.

5. I am thankful that Gary knows computers. My computer decided to show me the "blue screen of death" this morning. But it's no big deal for me. Gary'll sort it. I know you're jealous.

Yesterday

2010-11-19T08:28:00.000-08:00

*This is yesterday's post due to coming home late and having to take painkillers to rid myself of sinus pain and then collapsing into bed.*

Yesterday at church we had an evening for the sisters based on the parable of the ten virgins from the bible. It was extremely enjoyable with ten sisters posing as either foolish or wise virgins. Of course we are meant to remember and heed the 5 virgins who were wise but the 5 who were foolish gave such funny presentations, I think I might remember them a bit more vividly.

1. I am thankful for humor. I laughed a good deal last night and I felt great, despite being unwell.

2. I am thankful for the way we serve each other in my church. Last night we had a meal served to us and then of course we had the ten little presentations. A lot of work went into last night and all I had to do was show up and be entertained and uplifted.

3. I am thankful for a tender moment with Leia when I got home. Because we had to get dressed up for the evening, Leia was more than usually interested in what I was going to be doing. She had waited up for me and wanted to hear all about it. I sat on her bed with her in her room and told her the parable and what we did during the evening. When I was leaving she said "Mom, I like to hear about the stories Jesus told. Can you tell me another one tomorrow night?" You bet I can!

4. I am thankful that I got the majority of my Thanksgiving shopping done yesterday. I had a $10 coupon for World Market and so I got 6 bottles of Italian soda and some wonderful turkey brine for free. Target was also out of a couple of things so I'm glad I have it sorted early so that I can track down those items before it's too late.

5. I am thankful to have been able to talk to my brother yesterday. I haven't spoken to him in months due to the fact that he only has a cell phone which is uber expensive for me to call and we are hardly ever online at the same time. Yesterday the stars aligned and we were on the computer at the same time and were able to have a little chat. I miss my family and it made me super excited about March when I get to hug everyone rather than just look at them on a computer screen.

Health

2010-11-17T16:53:00.000-08:00

About 4 years ago I started getting sinus infections. I would be congested for a while and when it wouldn't go away, I'd see the doctor and get some antibiotics. A few months later, I'd be congested again and so on. I struggled with it for a few years and even went to the dentist one time, convinced I needed a root canal in any or all of my upper teeth to be told I had a sinus infection. Two years ago I was in England and helping my Mum to go through some of my Dad's things, to determine what could be donated, kept, thrown away. On the plane out I had experienced severe pain on the ascent and descent of the plane. It literally felt like my head was going to explode. I cried. In amongst my Dad's things I found a nasal spray that Dad had used for years to prevent something called nasal polyps that he had had removed several times. On a hunch, (and using someone else's prescriptions is not something I advocate) I used it for the remainder of my stay. I got total relief from all my symptoms. On the plane ride home, I felt no pain whatsoever. Needless to say, I returned to my doctor who prescribed me the spray and I have never been without it since. Well while my Mum and Sister were visiting in September, the nasal congestion came back with a vengeance. I upped my spray usage and it appeared to go away. A few weeks have gone by since then and I have been regularly using my prescription which has prevented congestion. But about a week ago I began to get pain along my jaw. Pretty bad pain that has kept me up at night. I thought that the gap between two of my upper molars was wider than usual and since the pain seemed to be worse on that side I assumed I had broken a tooth or needed some pretty extensive dental work.
Going to the dentist causes me to break into a cold sweat. I'm not exaggerating when I say I would ALMOST rather go through labor again than be worked on at the dentist so you can believe me when I say I did not make the appointment with my dentist without a LOT of inner dialogue with myself and several days of prevarication. It was my imagination etc.....
Well at the dentist today, following an xray, teeth tapping, teeth poking, prodding, air being blown liberally around we came to the conclusion that it is another sinus infection. So I'm back with my good old friend amoxicillin feeling really rubbish, a bit embarrased and a little depressed. Ongoing health problems are just no fun. Whatever way you look at it, facing a lifetime of treatment for anything is no joke. But that being said, I have so much to be thankful for.

1. I am thankful that I didn't have to have any kind of dental procedure done today. The cost of dental work is frightening enough but the way I feel in the chair is indescribable.

2. I am thankful for antibiotics. If I have to go through another week of feeling as if Santa's elves decided that the inside of my head would make a great workshop this year, I am going to go crazy.

3. I am thankful for a small understanding of what my Dad endured each and every day of his adult life. Sinus problems barely scratch the surface of the health problems my Dad had to face yet he faced them with courage.

4. I am thankful for friends who'll come over at a moment's notice to lend a helping hand when needed. What would we do without them?

5. I am thankful that Gary's work schedule allows for juggling. When you have small children, a fixed schedule could be tricky. If I need Gary to take a few hours off at a certain time he can make up for it during the rest of the week.

Marines

2010-11-16T16:48:00.000-08:00

1. I am thankful that Spencer's stomach virus has only been a 24 hour thing. His appetite has been subdued today but he will be back at school tomorrow.

2. I am thankful for the bond that Spencer and Oliver have. Leia mothers Oliver, Nathan just gets in his face and makes loud noises but Spencer really plays with him. And the look on Oliver's face when Spencer is talking to him. I'm really looking forward to seeing how their little relationship develops.

3.I am thankful to have had Spencer around today for some rare one on one time. When Oliver went down for his afternoon nap I asked Spencer what he wanted to do. I offered him video games, TV, etc... and he decided to cut up a cardboard box and make something else out of it. Sometimes you wonder as a parent if you're getting it right and I am encouraged by my kids' desire to play outside, make things, and build forts out of furniture. It's not as easy for my neat freak self to accept some of these activities when watching the TV or playing video games is quiet and mess free but my kids are imaginative and interesting so who can complain about that?

4. I am thankful that I noticed that Oliver had something in his mouth before he choked today. Spencer had been playing with legos and Oliver had popped a tiny one in his mouth. I did that quick sweep of the mouth (which is quite dicey when your baby has 8 teeth) and removed the offending lego. No harm done. I have nightmares about dealing with a choking baby - enough said!

5. I am thankful for my freezer. I just don't want to cook tonight but I can still have a meal ready in 5 minutes anyway.

Here is a picture of Spencer playing a game of "Marines" with Oliver today. These are the moments I never want to forget.

Puke.

2010-11-15T18:19:00.000-08:00

Spencer has thrown up three times and counting since he got home from school. Gary has cleaned it off the carpet a couple of times and now he's gone to bed accompanied by a bowl. Looks like he'll be home tomorrow. Trying to keep him away from Oliver will be the trick. The last thing I feel like dealing with is a throwing up baby.

1. I am thankful for a quiet house by 7.30pm. This normally happens most nights and when it doesn't happen I miss it. With a full day every day I need the time to re-charge and feel able to be that home maker, mother, and wife my family have come to expect. The person that always has meals planned and prepared at the right time, makes sure everyone always has clean clothes in their closets, makes sure no one has to tolerate a dirty toilet, listens and solves all problems, and is always fun to spend time with. Perhaps that homemaker, mother, and wife is a little on the idealized side but that's what I strive for and feel like it's within my grasp as long as I have time to be just Sarah. Tonight I'm fighting a headache and craving chocolate but by the time 11pm rolls around and I have had time to read, watched a bit of tv, had some chocolate, and maybe gone in the hot tub I'll feel as close to Martha Stewart as is humanly possible.

2. I am thankful for a stronger understanding of what my parents did for me and my siblings and sacrificed for us. When I was a child and I asked my Dad what he wanted for Christmas, he would say "peace and quiet". I always thought he was a grump when he said that but I had no idea what three noisy children were really like. Yet despite that craving for peace, we were allowed to be ourselves and my Dad spent coutless hours driving us around to all our social events when I'm sure he would much rather have been sitting at home by the fire reading a bible commentary. He always listened to my often hysterical teenage problems and provided me with just what I needed to hear. My mother and my father worked so hard to give us the things we wanted and I'm sure I never showed them the gratitude I should have. I hope that I will always express those feelings now I am an adult. If my children feel the same way about me as I do about my parents then I will have succeeded.

3. I am thankful to have tracked down a book I once had and somehow lost. I have been wanting to make an advent calendar for my kids, one that's a touch more exciting than the chocolate filled ones and this book had a pattern in it to make one. I was on Amazon last night and I found a copy. I can't wait to get started on the project even though I probably won't get it done for this year.

4. I am thankful for a garage that can fit our vehicles AND store all our stuff. Not having to scrape iced over windows or go out in snow to warm up the car is such a blessing.

5. I am thankful that my kids will be as excited about their $10 stockings as anything else they might get this Christmas.

When Gary takes his laptop into the bathroom.....

2010-11-14T21:24:00.000-08:00

1. I am thankful to have three bathrooms. Growing up we had one and I won't forget it.

2. I am thankful to have been able to spend a little time with Leia in the kitchen today. She helped me make dinner and she loved it.

3. I am thankful for my desire to be creative. It's one of those things that I think is essential to my sense of well being.

4. I am thankful that Spencer, Nathan and Oliver have a strong male role model in Gary. I know that under his influence they are going to be good men just like he is.

5. I am thankful that Oliver sleeps 12 hours a night. I have a sore throat today and the prospect of a good night's sleep to combat aches and pains is so wonderful when I can't take a sick day.

Looking ahead to tomorrow.........

2010-11-13T19:38:00.000-08:00

1. I am thankful for our friends who invited us over for dinner tonight. We had a really nice time.

2. I am thankful that I had time to make a big batch of baby food today. I will be able to feed my baby healthy food throughout the holidays, while we all lay around stuffing ourselves.

3. I am thankful that I also managed to clean my shower and wash my floor somewhere in this busy Saturday.

4. I am thankful that church doesn't start early, at least for the rest of the year. It means that Sunday is truly a day of rest for us. I'm not excited about starting at 8.30 am next year. I think I'll have to come up with an action plan to make that work.

5. I am thankful for my calling at church. The little people I teach are so funny. I will be sad to have to lose them all and get a fresh bunch in January. But no doubt the new bunch will also be adorable.

The end of the week.

2010-11-12T16:36:00.000-08:00

Why is it, that Gary can be sat on the couch doing absolutely nothing and I am in the kitchen up to my elbows in dinner (hot open oven, serving up without a hand free)and suddenly all the children need me to get them things or do something for them?

Today has not been the greatest day ever. Some weeks just leave me feeling drained and today was the culmination of one of those weeks. I am TIRED. Oliver is going through a phase where he can just scream for half an hour at a time. This is not upset screaming, this is exercising his voice/exploring cause and effect type of screaming so I'm not upset with him but it does put me on edge and give me a headache. Oliver is also in the throes of a pretty good cold. I think that's a major reason for me feeling drained. He is just fussy a lot of the time and taking care of him is a messy business with all the green snot which gets in his hair when he's sleeping, together with all the drool from all the teething he is doing.

About three weeks ago I decided to try grocery shopping online. I did it for three weeks and it's not the cheapest way to go about things since there's a delivery fee on top of the cost of the groceries but it's certainly convenient. I immediately fell in love with the process. I spend a little time in front of my computer (as I do anyway in the course of a day)and the next morning, along come all my groceries, right into my kitchen with no effort from me. I've done it now three times. Well today was grocery shopping day and I decided that I needed the extra $10 to spend on holiday stuff like stuffing, turkey, cranberry sauce etc.. and so I took Oliver and off we went. About half way around I remembered why I turned to online shopping in the first place. Because I HATE grocery shopping with a passion.
Oliver was just not feeling wonderful due to the cold and so he was crying practically the whole way around. I wouldn't give him my shopping list or my pen so he would start to scream. I would give him another pen or another piece of paper but it wouldn't do. He wanted whatever was in my hand and nothing else. I got plenty of sympathy from passers by but any mother knows that's not really appreciated. Nor the "oh poor baby" remarks. Dragging a loaded-down cart to the car in almost freezing temperatures knowing Oliver's cheeks are getting windburned is no fun either. Neither is unloading it all. I think it's back to the online shop next week.

And you know how yesterday, the love the other kids have for Oliver was something to be thankful for. Well today I could seriously do without it. Since he's grumpy he's often best left alone. He'll be quietly sitting there and one of the others will swoop in on him and he's screaming again. AHHHHHHH!

Then Gary walked through the door after work and let me know that he forgot to tell me it was game night tonight and he wanted to leave in a hour. I think how I felt instantly showed up on my face. He later told me he had decided not to go because he had to help a friend out with his resume and that he would do that tonight. I think he knew I was at the end of my rope. So that's what I'll begin my list with. Forgive the other lame stuff. Today I'm stretched a bit thin.

1. I am thankful that Gary could tell that I needed him this evening without me having to say anything. I know without a doubt we are all his priority.

2. I am thankful that the kids will be in bed soon. I need quiet.

3. I am thankful that we got a replacement part for our phone set-up today. The line has been terrible this whole week and it's totally annoyed me. Now the line is crystal clear. May it stay that way.

4. I am thankful for fudge covered mint oreos. It's one of those holiday limited editions that I wait for eagerly each year. It will be just the thing this evening while I'm watching one of my favorite TV shows Medium.

5. I am thankful for locking door knobs. I installed three today to keep my kids out of our storage room, the spare room and the game closet. That's a story for another day. Suffice it to say, I wish my children were always obedient but sadly they are not.

4th Grade Musical

2010-11-11T18:54:00.000-08:00

A few months ago, Leia asked if she could audition for a part in the 4th grade musical. I said she could and she got a part and had to practice every Monday morning EARLY. I didn't enjoy the early mornings so much but I could tell Leia was having a blast with it. I didn't really have a clear idea of how big the part was or anything. I'd ask her once in a while how things were going, whether she knew her lines etc... I think this was a manifestation of my own anxieties. If I were in a school musical program I think it would have been on my mind rather a lot. She showed no such anxiety.

Tonight was the performance for parents and she had by far the largest part. She said all her lines with complete confidence, she projected her voice and sang wonderfully. She was having a great time. I love it. I would have been paralyzed in front of all those people at her age. She's a little star. After the musical she said to me that she was a bit disappointed because she was hoping it was going to be a play with scenes and acting. I told her to hang on. There will be plenty of opportunities for those kinds of productions as she gets older. It seems we might have a performer on our hands.

1. I am thankful for Leia. She's infectious in a good way. I can't help but smile around her. With a house full of boys she is my little piece of pink in a very blue landscape. She gives me a reason to buy earrings, easy bake ovens, shoes with rhinestones on them, cross stitch kits, dresses, books about fairies, snow globes. She likes what I like and we can curl up on the couch and watch Dancing with the Stars together. I occasionally step on a polly pocket in the dark which are a lot less painful than legos.

2. I am thankful that my children are so happy in their new school. When we moved in May, I was concerned about a tough transition but I worried for nothing.

3. I am thankful that the performance is over. Early mornings where I have to get up and back to the school twice in between caring for my children is hard. And now it's getting really cold. As we walked back home from the school this evening the wind was biting. My head and ears hurt so bad when we got home I had to take ibuprofen. It's like that in the mornings too.

4. I am thankful for the love my children have for each other, more particularly for Oliver. They are constantly concerned about his well being. Spencer sat by him tonight through the whole performance and kept turning the stroller so Oliver could see and he kept clapping his hands for him after each musical number. Each time they have been apart from him or it's Oliver's bedtime/naptime, he is showered in hugs and kisses. Oliver is one lucky little baby.

5. I am thankful that we live a block from the kids' school. Mornings and afternoons are a sea of cars and busyness. We can avoid all that craziness and in the winter months it's not so far that they freeze to death getting there and back. They can also have a little bit of responsibility as I trust them to walk home together.

Here are some pictures of Leia in action.

No Cavity Club

2010-11-11T07:22:00.001-08:00

Here's Nathan with his Dentist. This is the picture they took to commemorate the no cavity club winner this month. Nathan is such a joy. Such a sweetheart. He deserved to be singled out. It certainly doesn't happen often in a house with 4 kids. And he's still in his pajamas from pajama day at school. Ordinarily my kids do wear regular clothing each day - I PROMISE! :)

Turkey and Mango Picadillo for dinner anytime...YUM!

2010-11-10T17:16:00.000-08:00

1. I am thankful that the kids had pajama day at school today. That way, when Gary was out at bedtime, all I had to organize was teeth brushing.

2. I am thankful for a dentist that makes things fun for my kids. Nathan won a prize today for being in the no cavity club and I'm sure it's going to help prevent the phobia that literally cripples me whenever I so much as think about having to go to the Dentist.

3. I am thankful for being able to buy mangoes all year round, and indeed all kinds of exotic fruit and vegetables that don't grow anywhere near here.

4. I am thankful that I can ask my sister to lend me something and in a matter of a few days it gets from her door to mine - a distance of hundreds of miles. It's incredible.

5. I am thankful that I can stay at home with my baby. Gary suggested I might like to work outside the home today and the chill I got imagining Oliver spending his time in daycare was not pleasant.

The first snow fell today!

2010-11-09T21:03:00.000-08:00

1. I am thankful for a growing circle of friends in my new Ward. We have only been in this Ward since July and I feel like I am meant to be here. I'm not sure I've ever felt so much a part of a group so quickly.

2. I am thankful for the book club I am in. Not only are the members willing to read the books each month, but we have such wonderful discussions. Since joining the book club I am positive not one meeting has ended much before 10pm. I feel renewed.

3. I am thankful for books. I'm not exaggerating when I say that I would have anxiety if I didn't have books in my house and unread books sitting there on my "to read" shelf. This might be a little on the "perhaps I need to talk to someone about this" side but I think of books as my very good friends.

4. I am thankful that my mother has bought my children so many books over the years. Together with the books I have bought, they literally have hundreds of books and could probably read a different book each night all year long. I often see them reading on their own and even if I sometimes have to coax them to reach the 20-30 minutes asked of them by their school teachers each day, I know they are developing something which will give them joy for their whole lives. Sharing books with Leia that I read when I was her age is wonderful.

5. I am thankful for a well insulated home. The snow started to fall today and after my furnace came on in the early morning it hasn't come on since. I remember sitting in the last home we owned and feeling the cold air seeping through the walls. There isn't a single draft anywhere in this house and our energy bills reflect it.

Lunch....amongst other things.

2010-11-08T17:06:00.000-08:00

Today Gary took the questionable book to school and talked with the principal about it. As a result the school are creating a shelf in the library with books on it that may only be checked out with a parent's permission.

1. I am thankful for the outcome of Gary's chat with the Principal. Contrary to what you often get told by the media, I don't think public schools/the government are trying to fill our children with immoral knowledge. Our school has proved that it welcomes involvement from parents and is not going to support the teaching of topics that parents don't want taught. But what I have taken from this in particular is that we need to remain extremely involved in our children's lives and it is worth flicking through innocent looking library books.

2. I am thankful for change. With daylight savings time making it darker in the evenings, it brings my children inside and closer to us and our influence over the winter. As opposed to the influence of the boy next door they love to spend time with, who has a much more colorful vocabulary than we would wish our own children to have.

3. I am thankful for technology that closes the huge gap that exists between me and my family. An hour's chat with my sister costs next to nothing and with webcams I can soon see her new house for myself in real time without actually being there. It means I can live here happily while still being as close as ever with my Mum and Sister.

4. I am thankful for the opportunity I have had living here to experience different cultures. For example I had never had a cheese quesadilla until I moved here. I could mention tons of other stuff but lately I've just had a thing for quesadillas.

5. I am thankful that when I washed the covers of my sofa cushions today they didn't shrink. That one's a little lame but it's mostly the little everyday things which add up to a contented me.

A Sunday to remember.

2010-11-07T19:11:00.000-08:00

1. I am thankful that I got to hear Elder Russell M. Nelson speak today in person at our Stake Center. Not only does he have an awe inspiring testimony but I enjoyed how he spoke about his 10 children, the first 9 being girls, and how you could just tell how much he enjoyed visiting with us. Gary got to shake his hand and chat with him. I of course had to take 4 fidgety children home after having to arrive at the Stake Center more than an hour ahead of time just to be seated in the overflow. Had we wanted to sit in the chapel we would have had to be there at 6am when the meeting began at 10am.

2. I am thankful that I got to have a nap this afternoon. I was all excited to get to stay up an hour later last night but even though I technically turned out the light at 11pm my body felt like it was midnight and as such was overtired and I couldn't fall asleep. And then when I did get to sleep, Oliver was messed up and woke up at 4.45am. After trying to settle him down again, I couldn't get back off to sleep until about 6.30am and then we had to get up at 7.30am to get ready to be at the church by 8.30am to then wrestle with the kids all through the meeting. I'm sure you've all got the picture that I was TIRED by about 2pm and my wonderful husband kept the kids quiet while I slept.

3. I am thankful for an evening spent around our firepit with good friends. Our children love each other and played really well together in the dark corners of the backyard while we laughed about all kinds of things. The smores were pretty good as well.

4. I am thankful that Nathan still wants to cuddle with me. Spencer is over it already but tonight around the fire Nathan sat on my knee and wrapped both arms tightly around me and put his cheek next to mine. A sweet moment.

5. I am thankful to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints.

Long Stratton - here Leia and I come!

2010-11-06T15:31:00.000-07:00

Today I booked tickets for Leia and I to travel to England to visit with my family during 10 days of her Spring Break from school next year. Originally we had planned to take the whole family during next summer but quickly realized the scope of that plan. In order to justify the immense cost (6 transatlantic peak price plane tickets, rental car, spending money) we would have to stay for at least three weeks - the entirety of Gary's work leave at that point. And there would be no time (or money) to visit with Gary's family over the summer. Instead, Gary is going to take 7 days off work to take care of the boys and Leia and I are going by ourselves, leaving time and money for other adventures as well. Excited is too mild of an adjective to describe the way we feel.

1. I am thankful that Gary works hard for our family so that we have all the things we need and some things we really really want as well.

2. I am thankful that I will have a 9 year old companion when I fly to England. Last time I went, I was by myself and going to my father's funeral. This time the reason for our travels will be for fun and there's really no one I'd rather spend 10 hours in an enclosed space with than my daughter.

3. I am thankful to have spent my childhood in one place. Long Stratton is an anchor for me. The home I return to is associated with so many beautiful and happy memories.

4. I am thankful that tonight we put the clocks back. I can either choose to stay up an hour later or get an extra hour of sleep - decisions decisions.

5. I am thankful for discovering a completely inappropriate library book that Leia had checked out of the school library BEFORE she had a chance to read it. Gary can now take it to the school principal himself to ask why our 9 year old daughter has access to books that cover topics such as safe sex, masturbation, sexual attraction, and wet dreams unbeknownst to Gary and I. Leia and I have had the "sex" talk on a level which I felt was appropriate to her age. Since she is not likely to enter puberty for about another 4 years (judging from my own experiences) I reserve the right to delay giving her an all access pass just yet.

70 degrees outside - it is November right?

2010-11-05T16:18:00.000-07:00

Today I was in Target (there's actually not too many days that go by without me setting foot in there) and the cashier was a man I would say was in his 50s, fairly heavyset, and not blessed by particularly good looks. But the minute he finished with the previous customer and turned his attention to me, he smiled. And that smile was amazing. I didn't want to look away. It simply lit up his whole face and just by looking at him I was filled with joy. What a gift. I know I have a "nice" smile - who doesn't? But I know it's not like that one.

1. I am thankful for that moment in Target.

2. I am thankful for amazing weather today. My kids really love playing outside and as I sit here typing I keep seeing Leia in a witch costume streaking past my open front door. Tonight I can sleep with the windows open - something that always promotes a more peaceful and I'm convinced, healthier sleep for me. This is always something that delights me each year here in Colorado. This is our third fall here and it couldn't be more beautiful.

3. I am thankful that Colorado is our home. In the beginning the move was very hard for me. I had to leave behind family and friends and deal with personal and financial issues at the same time. We're now into our third year here and I'm in love. No disrespect to Ohio but there's no real comparison to the beauty that is here. And the weather. Sunshine 300 days of the year, white Christmases, indian summers. Me and Colorado like one another.

4. I am thankful that tomorrow is the weekend. I get my whole family together for two days.

5. I am thankful that Oliver is picking up his pacifier and deftly popping it back in his mouth these days. It's a useful skill for a baby.

Just another sinus thing :(

2010-11-04T21:43:00.000-07:00

I've not been feeling very well today so I'll keep it short.

1. I am thankful for modern medicine. 800 milligrams of ibuprofen goes a long way.

2. I am thankful for a nap when Gary got home from work. I just couldn't face the homework/dinner chaos. Gary even cooked!

3. I am thankful that Spencer learned a lesson today. Even though he got a bruised face, he may make a different choice next time and no amount of nagging from me gets that result.

4. I am thankful for the good health of my children.

5. I am thankful that I can grocery shop online tomorrow. The thought of facing King Soopers or goodness forbid Wal-mart when I'm not feeling well is HIDEOUS!

Nine months

2010-11-03T20:28:00.000-07:00

1. I am thankful that my children remind me of the simple joys to be had in our lives. Joys like splashing in a bathtub.

2. I am thankful that each morning I am greeted by this gorgeous face. How could I ever be in a bad mood?

3. I am thankful that although Oliver is cutting two more teeth to add to the six he already possesses at only 9 months, he goes through this process like a champ. If it weren't for a diaper rash (which in all honesty I can only guess is related to teething) I would hardly be able to tell.

4. I am thankful that Gary is willing to get up and give Oliver his early morning bottle. I hate getting up in the mornings and even though I have to get up an hour later to get the other kids ready for school, Gary usually settles Oliver down for me so that I can get that done without the pressure of a hungry screaming baby.

5. I am thankful that we decided to bring another child into our family. Oliver was the last piece in the Asp family puzzle. He is so loved by each and every one of his siblings (often to the point of suffocation). I think of his life growing up surrounded by all this love and attention. I am happy for him that he will be so cherished and special and I pray that he will not let it go to his head!

The election is over!

2010-11-02T19:47:00.000-07:00

Today I have been watching the midterm elections unfold. I find it all to be somewhat obscene. The endless advertisements telling half truths, twisting things people say, preying on the uninformed and people's emotions. And the fact that it all costs millions of dollars while the number of families living below the poverty line in this country also reaches into the millions upsets me. I believe in Democracy, yet somewhere I think we have strayed. Can the important issues facing our country be solved when to each political party, the opposition is an enemy to be fought, with as much wealth and power as can be obtained? Is the word coalition something that will ever be a part of politics here?

1. I am thankful that the election is over. The advertisements have intruded into our lives for weeks now and I don't know how to answer the questions my children have about the character assassination that has characterized them.

2. I am thankful for Democracy. Even though I've said what I have, we have the freedom to cast our vote in peace and in full confidence that our voice has been heard.

3. I am thankful for a place where I can buy a few little English items that make some of my favorite Christmas traditions possible.

4. I am thankful for the anticipation that November and December bring. It means looking forward to gathering around the fire, planning surprises, cooking for and taking care of those I love, music, laughter, games, etc... It's my absolute favorite time of year despite the cliche.

5. I am thankful that I have a husband who has done college level math to help the children when they can't understand their math homework. While I could still complete their homework easily myself I have no idea how to explain the methods in a way that makes sense to them. Without him I'd be at sea.

Month of Thanksgiving

2010-11-01T10:24:00.000-07:00

So last year I posted 5 things I was thankful for each day during the month of November. It made me feel fantastic so this year I'm going to do the same.

I am reflecting on the weekend we just enjoyed. Dad and Cinda drove out from Illinois to visit with us. Getting Grandparents and Grandchildren together is always special and this time was no different. It was a really great weekend.

1. I am thankful for Gary's family. With the absence of my own family, it is wonderful to know that if we ever need anything, Gary's family is here for us. Whether it be something as trivial as help fixing seals on the bottom of garage doors or something as important as help when one of our children is sick (They rushed out to help when Spencer was hospitalized at 10 months old), I know they will be there for us.

2. I am thankful that Gary works for a family oriented company and that he enjoys his work. Trick or Treating at his work on Friday was fun.

3. I am thankful that I managed to get Leia to her Play practise this morning. We both woke up late but we made it there in the nick of time. She would have lost her part to someone else if we had missed and she would have been devastated. I would have been even more devastated if I had been the cause of her losing her part.

4. I am thankful to have Nathan home each morning. He is such a sunshiny person. Not everyone can appreciate him as his exuberance and lack of impulse control can be tiring but there is not the tiniest mean bone in his body. He is ready to love everyone and be friends with everyone.

5. I am thankful for this photo. It's not often you can get everyone looking the same way at the same time. It may not be perfect but it's pretty darn close.

Halloween fun!

2010-10-27T21:00:00.001-07:00

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

And here are my gorgeous lot in their Halloween costumes. I could eat them up.

Bathing, big boy style!

2010-10-05T19:07:00.000-07:00

Oliver has finally given up the bath sling. He's been a late sitter upper. I would say that he's only been doing it consistently for about a week and he's 8 months old. But there are perks to sitting up as Oliver found out tonight. Sitting in the tub meant lots of splashing and he was quite excited by it.

Eight months

2010-09-28T18:17:00.000-07:00

Oliver just turned 8 months old. I have a picture of each of my children at 8 months old on the wall. Why 8 months? you ask, as did Gary when I added Oliver to the wall this afternoon. 8 months is such a fabulous age as far as I'm concerned. They've just learned to sit up and have become very interested in holding things and exploring them. You can put your baby on the floor and they will sit there for hours it seems playing with anything you place in front of them. They can't go anywhere. They babble, smile and giggle and still drink mostly milk so there isn't any food issues. They still take two naps a day and sleep 12 hours a night without waking up. He's a joy to be with. This is the picture I selected for the wall.

I've started to notice a few changes in his little personality over the last week. He used to be so free with his smiles to strangers. Now he's not so sure. He might reward someone cooing over him with a half smile and glance in their direction but then he hides his face or just looks away. And if he gets excited or angry he balls his little fists up and literally quivers. Today he was in his high chair waiting on me to give him some banana. I was standing in front of him cutting pieces of the banana into chunks for him but he wanted the whole banana. He reached out for it and when he didn't get it, out came those fists and the full body shake. So I gave him the banana. I was really hoping for a laid back personality this time but I guess strong willed children is just my lot in life. Either that or it's an energizer bunny a la Nathan.

I also picked up Oliver's Halloween costume today. Nathan is a skeleton and I was going to have Oliver match him but then I saw the bat costume and I thought matching the black would be fine. He didn't seem too keen on it but it was about 80 degrees in the house this afternoon and the costume is like a felty material. Oliver also has a big head so even though I bought 9 months, the head piece is snug.

Here's a few more shots of the cutest baby on my street, and probably my entire neighborhood.

He's really filling out. Must be all those bananas.

I always find that being outside gets me some great shots. He definitely did not love the feel of grass and I had to work harder to get a smile.

Who knew bats were so adorable?

Such a helpful child. He was pointing out something I missed when I vacuumed earlier.

Three weeks, 168 dirty diapers!

2010-09-24T18:30:00.000-07:00

Three weeks of exhausting, smelly, noisy, craziness has finally come to an end. It was also one of the best times of my life as it always is when my Mum and Sister come to visit. They left yesterday and I've felt a little hollow. I've exchanged a lot of noise and tiredness plus three lots of stinky diapers for a much quieter and more organized house but somehow I think I'd exchange it back again for another squeeze of my niece Cate's cheeks or to hear my nephew Max say "Sawah". Going out to lunch with Mum and Rachel wasn't so bad either. My waistline might not agree but worrying about such pedestrian concerns is not high on our list of priorities when we get together! Here's a little of what went on.

I love to see my dinner table surrounded by my family. Around it AND on top as you can see. Oliver doesn't like to be ignored even if he's already had his dinner.

Cate enjoying the water table.

Look at these two characters in a shopping cart. It was all good fun for oh, say 2 minutes!

Mum took this picture of Spencer in Manitou Springs. She has a knack for catching the kids "au naturel" you might call it. Whenever my camera gets turned on, the cheesy smiles get turned on too.

We drove up Pikes Peak. That was a wonderful day to include a picnic, unparalleled views, and small children running around at the edges of precipices!

Grandma Shirley having fun with the newest additions to her brood.

Auntie Rachel made each of the kids a darling apron with their initials on. It instantly made them chefs in training. Maybe I can convince them to don them for some house cleaning as well....

A game of horsey always goes down well with the rabble!

We did quite a bit of this in the evenings. With six kids to field, can you blame us?

This boy has a special place in my heart. He wasn't so sure about his Auntie Sarah this visit, requiring a TINY bit of persuasion for a hug and a kiss. However, he was decidedly less reticent when he realized I had control of the DVD player in the car.

BFFs!

Another special place in my heart opened up for my new gal pal Cate. She's pretty cool.

An attempt at a group shot. Not exactly successful. At the ripe old age of 7 months, grass is simply FASCINATING.

Every time we'd lose sight of Cate we'd find her looking at herself in my mirror. I can't blame her. I spent most of the visit staring at those dimples.

Cate was very fond of her Auntie. SQUISH!

One day we went to the Mall and discovered that you can go in a hurricane simulator for the bargain price of $2. Who thinks up this stuff?

Oliver's first taste of ice cream. You would have thought it was extremely cold or something.

Cuddles.

This picture is completely illustrative of Oliver and Cate's relationship. Much as I'm loathe to admit it, she could take him any day of the week.

Finally got a picture where you can see all their faces. Aren't they a good looking bunch?

We're hoping to do this again, with all the kids next June. I can hardly wait!

Prospect Lake

2010-08-07T13:57:00.000-07:00

Today we went to Prospect Lake which is in a park a couple of miles from downtown. It was so great. We had a picnic on the grass next to the lake and then walked the circumference of the lake, stopping to play on some of the equipment. But there were some disappointments. On the edge of the Lake was a sweet little beach house and a place where you used to be able to rent a paddle boat or something similar and go out on the lake. Both the maintained stretch of beach where you could go swimming and then rinse off in the little beach house, and the boat house, and the toilets were closed indefinitely due to city budget restrictions. Since moving here I've really fallen in love with Colorado Springs and I was saying to Gary on our walk that I really feel settled here and that this is our home. And it REALLY annoys me when people vote down levy after levy and prevent these wonderful community parks from being able to be properly maintained and run. I wish sometimes that people would research things themselves instead of thinking automatically that Taxes = bad/big government/loss of freedom/communism/the end of the world as we know it.

But aside from my momentary irritation, we had a lovely time together as a family. The kids chased the ducks and geese, collected their feathers and paddled in the water and ran on the sandy parts. I can see a trip there when family comes to see us in a few weeks and I just felt thankful. Thankful that such a beautiful city is my home and that despite recent upheavals we made it through with small scars only. Pikes Peak is always right outside my front door and whenever I need a small piece of it it's mine for the taking.

Chasing geese. Something that is so irresistible to children.

A view

This perspective makes Oliver look huge.

Searching for treasure.

Just a few things......

2010-08-06T19:14:00.000-07:00

It's about 8pm. Gary and are sitting on the couch watching tv and Spencer comes up the stairs.
"Nathan came down off the top bunk, pulled down my pants and then pulled my wiener" he says.
I had a hard time keeping a straight face. For one, Nathan could not have done that unless Spencer was messing about with him and that boy will say just about anything to get Nathan in trouble. Even though Nathan is portrayed as the instigator by Spencer I have a sneaking suspicion that Spencer has more to do with things than he lets on. I think the 5 year age gap between Nathan and Oliver was inspired.

Oliver won't suck a pacifier anymore. I don't get it. Over the last week he has been spitting it out in the middle of the night when I would go in to comfort him if he woke up. For the last two days he has fallen asleep from being wide awake without it for naps and bedtime. I know a lot of people see this as a positive thing but for me it's unknown territory. Leia sucked her thumb until a few months ago. Spencer gave up his pacifier at 4 and Nathan at 2. I've always had very well adjusted self sufficient children who rarely disturb us at night. I can probably count on one hand the times they have shown up in our bedroom in the middle of the night with any issues. I just hope that Oliver gets the comfort he needs from his cuddle cloth (cloth diaper that he has to have near his face when he sleeps).

Gary is the cat that got the cream. The part arrived today and he installed it and now we have a hot tub that is rapidly heating up. He can't keep the smile off his face and is altogether TOO excited. But to be honest, the thought of a hot tub to use over the winter is very appealing. The hot tub and the fire pit are going to make for a backyard oasis. What I love about our new neighborhood is that they allow privacy fences. Our previous neighborhood didn't allow that and every one's backyard was everyone else's as well. How can your yard be an extension of your home if the whole neighborhood can see what you are doing?

Guess I'm off to see if the hot tub is hot enough yet.

Take that, hot tub professionals!

2010-08-05T07:06:00.001-07:00

Well the kids are back at school! Every day this week, even Monday when the kids weren't at school, Tuesday when the kids were in and out for testing, and yesterday when it was only a half day I have exercised. I haven't done anything spectacular (a one mile brisk walk with Oliver either in sling or stroller), but I do plan on increasing the speed and length of the walk as time goes on. It's amazing how much that alone has improved my overall feeling of health.

I am in full post summer organizational mode. Yesterday I cleaned most of my main floor including vacuuming out the crumbs in the sofa and dusting the ceiling fan (yuck!). Today I plan on hitting the mud room, putting away all the swimming stuff and getting caught up on laundry to include cleaning the washer and dryer. It's amazing how gross they become after a few months of use.

And a couple of days ago I convinced Gary that he really did have the smarts to tear down the hot tub and figure out why it wasn't heating. Previously he had done everything (he said) that he knew how to do to diagnose the problem and he would have to leave the rest to a "hot tub professional" who incidentally charge a ridiculous fee simply to diagnose the problem, let alone what the charges might be for a new part and labor to install it.

We decided pretty much as soon as we discovered it wasn't working that spending a large amount of money on it wasn't a priority this year and that we would wait on it. The kids have used it as a pool this summer. But every time we grill or spend time outside around the firepit we've both been guilty of looking at it longingly and making such comments as "wouldn't it be nice if we could just hop in the hot tub right now?" I could tell that any day I was going to come home to find a fixed hot tub and an $800 bill to show for it.

So I set out to change Gary's mind about fixing the hot tub himself. After all, he has his MBA, and teaches people about wireless networking or something at the college level, not to mention all the stuff he does at work but don't ask me exactly what that is because I'm not completely sure!

We discussed it to the point of it being an argument. Of course I came at it wrong using the whole saving money angle - NOT a good idea, but then I convinced him of his superior brain power and he agreed. On Tuesday evening he borrowed a thingy (a yellow box that tests something) from work to help him out and took loads of pictures of the insides and then got to work. I tell you he had it figured out within 10 minutes and by Wednesday morning he had a replacement part ordered and it should be here by tomorrow. It all seemed ridiculously easy so I'm just keeping my fingers crossed. If we succeed then I'll post some pictures of hot tubbing fun - of the kids of course - don't panic!

So Oliver is unloading something into his diaper - just in time to get it changed before I put him down for a nap and get to the organizing and cleaning. The sun is shining, it's not too hot yet and all the windows are open. Nathan is watching Tom and Jerry and he's off to school this afternoon. I am anticipating a wonderfully quiet day. The only tiny bit of sadness is that I won't see many of these moments in the days ahead. (see below)

How to deal.....and chubby, sweeter than any other baby, Oliver.

2010-07-25T19:47:00.000-07:00

Gary snapped this photo of Oliver and I right before his bath tonight. He is such a sweetheart right now. So happy and content. I feel like I know what he wants and can give it to him. One thing that is interesting is that he has started to scream. He's perfectly happy but it's like he gets excited and all he can do is make the loudest noise he can. It's adorable except when you are trying to nap in the next room or you are right in the middle of the quiet part of church. Each morning I look forward to seeing the little guy.

Also this weekend we had the pleasure of experiencing one of the negatives of owning a Dodge Grand Caravan. We were happily riding down the road in our '08 Grand Caravan when Gary hit the breaks and we heard grinding metal. There had been no squeaking brake noises or any indication at all of excessive wear on the brake pads. And this has happened to us before in another Grand Caravan. Now I was severely annoyed because there should be a wear indicator so I can get the pads changed before my rotors are ruined.
We drove straight to the dealership and were told it was going to cost $230 for a brake pad change and rotor repair but $430 if the rotors needed to be replaced. I knew they would have to be. I've heard that nasty noise before.
At home I was teetering on the edge of a flip out. Warranties don't include things like brakes although I felt like ours should since the car is only two years old, I don't thrash the car, and there was no wear indication at all. But I took a very deep breath and decided to let it wash over me. Not an easy thing for me I can tell you. I went to Borders, one of my happy places by myself to de-stress.
When I got home Gary had received a call from the dealership. Literally a week ago, Dodge had extended the warranty to include brakes on vehicles with less than 32 000 miles on them. (Ours has 23 000 on it) Apparently we are not the only people having brake issues. All we had to pay was a $100 deductible type charge for new brakes and rotors because of course they were done. HUGE improvement on what we initially thought we'd have to pay. And the new brake pads I'm pretty sure will give me some type of wear indication although I better double check that!

Maybe, just maybe, I should try and deal with adversity in a similar way from now on. What do you think?

Naptime

2010-07-20T09:39:00.000-07:00

Well we have just a few weeks until the kids go back to school and I think I can confidently say that I am counting down the days. I've said before that this summer has been really great and not too crazy but all in all, my kids do well with the structure. Nathan especially needs to be on a schedule and needs a break from the computer, DS, and tv. I am concerned about the first few months and how he's going to cope with all the sitting still and focusing on work, although Kindergarten is usually a fairly kind introduction to academics. I am anticipating a few calls from his teacher and wouldn't be surprised if it is suggested that he needs to be medicated, even though I know better.

Leia will probably have a rough transition back as she is also a social animal and not especially interested in A grades or beautiful handwriting.

But we're getting to that point where I am losing my patience a lot quicker and my enthusiasm for the summer schedule is becoming somewhat diminished. Yesterday I took the kids swimming. The amount of vigilance I need to have even though I had the help of a friend is HUGE. Last week Spencer swam out of his depth despite me having both eyes firmly on him and had to be rescued by a lifeguard (there's a story I'll save for later) so this time I obviously didn't want it to happen again. Oliver is not exactly thrilled with this new pastime of being held in less than warm water while seemingly hundreds of crazy people scream and splash around him. He needs the most of my attention but Nathan has no fear and could easily get into trouble. When we got home I had the worst headache and felt like I had been run over by a freight train.

I find myself longing to fold laundry in a quiet house and to go grocery shopping with one child only.

And to the annoyance of the day. Naptime is once again at the top of my "to do" list. All of my children have been wonderful at going to bed and sleeping through the night at an early age. So long as there is a bedtime routine and they go to bed at the same time each night we are well away. But then naptime has ALWAYS been a different story. You'd think it would be no big stretch to go to sleep in the same place you sleep every night when you are ready for a nap. But apparently not.

Oliver starts getting fussy and tired at about 10am each morning. It's obvious to me that he's ready. Between 3 and 5 months he has been able to go to sleep after I've gone in and put his pacifier in a few times but lately nothing is soothing him. It's been very similar with all the children. They get to about 6 months or so and then think they are going to be missing something or they don't want to see Mommy leave the room and then nothing is going to do except being removed from the crib.

This is the point at which I start the cry it out method. As far as I can tell nothing else gets me to where both the baby and I need to be. He needs his nap and that's all there is to it. Yesterday he got ten minutes here and there in between activities and by 4pm he was the grumpiest I've ever seen him. And this is where the root of the problem lies with Oliver. The summer has definitely delayed a solid routine for him except at bedtime.

This morning however I decided I just did not want to go anywhere or do anything. The perfect time to attempt the first cry it out naptime. Sure enough at about 9.30am Oliver started to fuss. I picked him up, cuddled him a bit, let him know we were headed to his room for a nap. I layed him down with his pacifier and cuddle cloth and quietly left the room. As he began to fuss, I went in and put the pacifier in his mouth. I had decided to do that three times before he was on his own.

Once those three times were up he began to scream, and scream, and scream. Now although this method had brought me results quickly I still hate the actual experience of it. but this time it took on a whole new life of its own. My other children were immensely bothered by it. For about 15 minutes I went back and forth with the kids like this.

Spencer: I'm just going to go and comfort the baby.
Me: No you're not.
Spencer: I could just go and stick the paccie in his mouth.
Me: No you couldn't.
Spencer: But he's really crying
Me: He's fine.
Spencer: But he sounds like he's hurt
Me: He is not hurt, I promise.
Spencer: But if I just put the paccie in he would stop crying.
Me: No, he wouldn't.
Spencer: But I could just check on him.
Me: Spencer I did this with you. He needs to learn that naptime is for sleeping.
Spencer: But maybe he's already taken a nap.
Me: No, he hasn't.
Leia: I really think you should just go and check on him because there could be a man in his bedroom trying to steal him.
Me: No one is trying to steal him

Just at the moment I felt I was going to have to scream myself, Leia went downstairs without me knowing and held a cardboard tube up to the vent in the boys' bedroom that connects to the vent in Oliver's room and proceeded to try and calm him down. Of course it had the opposite effect. It didn't take me long to realize why the screaming had officially become shrieking and Leia was officially in big trouble. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!

All I can comfort myself with at this point is that Oliver is finally going to be left alone for more than 5 minutes at a time and I will be able to establish a routine with him starting August 3.

He finally fell asleep after about 30 minutes of crying and slept for about 30 minutes. I'm hoping that in a few days he'll be falling asleep in about 5 minutes and sleeping for about an hour.

Thankfully he greeted me with this face (below) when I went to get him after the nap so I don't think he's holding it against me.

New specs.

2010-07-11T18:01:00.000-07:00

So last week Spencer got his new glasses. They were not cheap glasses (thank goodness for insurance!) so this time I got an 18 month replacement plan as well. I think he looks very cute.

You can also see the glued together cut he got on his forehead.

Today he found a metal ring amongst his legos that he wore on his middle finger to church. He kept holding up the finger in question to show people this ring. He had absolutely no idea he was systematically flipping off the entire congregation. You have to laugh or you'll cry.

Lighting

2010-07-09T11:27:00.000-07:00

So probably my favorite way to personalize my house is through lighting. When we moved in, Gary really liked all the canned lights in the kitchen. We have 8 of them. Me not so much. I like that they are modern and streamlined but that's about it. I decided that I wanted two pendants over the bar area. We found kits to convert the canned lights to pendants but we had a problem. One light over the sink was on it's own circuit, and the other 7 lights were on a seperate circuit. I wanted two pendants that could be on one circuit so I could choose to have just those two lights on sometimes. I described what I wanted to Gary and sensational husband that he is he climbed up into the attic and re-wired the circuit so I have the two lights over bar area on one circuit and the other 6 on another. We now have two pendants that just make the kitchen glow in the evening. I love them. The picture doesn't do it justice but you can get the idea.

And then I saw a light and fell in love. I was wanting a new light for the dining room area. The fixture that was there was what I'm sure the builder installed in every dining room on the whole street. Unappealing to say the least. I really like drum lights but they can run anywhere from hundreds for ones I like the least up into the thousands for the ones I like the most.

So I saw this lantern type light and couldn't stop thinking about it. Unfortunately it was a plug in light, not hard-wired. I was heartbroken for about five minutes until I convinced Gary to hardwire it for me. He thought about it for a bit and with a tiny bit of breath held he cut off the plug and installed it in the ceiling for me. What a treasure he is. And now I can't stop staring at it.

It's a drum style in the middle with a rattan globe. Perfect.

It also casts a glow that just illuminates the table enough for a romantic dinner for two. Hmmm...that doesn't happen very often but now I have an excuse to make it happen.
As you can see I've painted the walls. It highlights the shutters although once again the pictures don't do it justice.

What do you think? I suspect I may be watching too much HGTV.

Oliver

2010-07-09T11:03:00.001-07:00

I'm not sure I could adequately describe how much this little guy has completely taken control of my heart. Having a baby is just like falling in love. This time for me it has been intense. The experience I had with Leia was similar but with Spencer and Nathan it was tempered a little bit as the needs of my other children who were still babies themselves also came into play. With my other children being 9,7, and 5, I have been able to soak myself in adorable babyness once again.

He's just magical. With his hair, those eyes and his two little teeth. I look forward to waking up to his smile and I am loving pureeing his food and have vowed not to feed him anything from a jar. Since breastfeeding didn't work out I can pour my soul into yummy organic, homemade, tasty babyfood. So far, I have made him sweet potatoes and he loves them. I'm going to try peas next.

He's so chilled and happy and he's finding his voice. He screams, coos, yells, all to hear his own voice and make his feelings known. I can't stop kissing him and I protect him fiercely from his brothers and sister. He might end up being very spoiled.

But really............

Could you blame me?

Catch-up

2010-07-09T10:03:00.000-07:00

I haven't really blogged in a long while and so I don't expect anyone to be reading this but just in case, I am about to relieve some stress. Blogging for me in the past has mainly been a stress reliever. Of course I have written about the fun stuff but looking back over my entries, the longest ones have been about trying days and things that I need to laugh about desperately to avoid dissolving into a puddle of tears.

Lately though my stress levels have been low. Last summer, they were at an all time high. I was still suffering from depression going back to the death of my father (untreated of course as I am English and we don't talk about our emotional problems with doctors), our house in Ohio had been trashed and abandoned by our scum of the earth tenants, and we were facing yet another undetermined amount of months attempting to pay a mortgage and rent amounting to about half our income, not to mention all the utilities on both homes.

So this summer has been positively idyllic in comparison. We sold the house in Ohio last November and have now bought a house here in our new home, Colorado Springs. This house for me ticks all the boxes. I have been beyond happy with the decision to buy again despite feeling so burned over our last house. We have over 3000 finished square feet, five big bedrooms, hardwood in the entryway, dining area, kitchen. The ceilings are high and we have loads of windows, even in the bathrooms. The previous owners landscaped the front and back yards, put up and stained a 6ft fence. They installed shutters on the windows and splurged for the upgraded cabinets and backsplash in the kitchen. I have a room to turn into a library once again and I am in decorating heaven.

This summer so far has been busy. I've been making new friends, painting the house, enjoying my simply adorable 4-6 month old Oliver, and keeping my 9, 7, and 5 year olds entertained. They have completed the library summer reading program, gone on many playdates, had friends over here, splashed around in the hot tub, eaten ice cream, baked goodies, riden bikes, broken bikes and gotten new ones, had telescope nights, played games, laughed themselves silly over wipeout, rented numerous movies and much more.
Sounds fantastic right???

Well this morning, after about 5 weeks of relative calm I totally lost it.
I have a few rules about morning behavior over the summer. I don't want to have to get up before 8.30am especially since I am running around here, there, and everywhere for the kids. I expect them to stay out of my bedroom and remain quiet until I get up. Oliver wakes up around 6am and at that point joins me in bed and I want him to go back to sleep for a few hours as well. For the most part they obey this rule. We've had the occasional disturbance with one of them telling tales on someone else but generally I've been able to get up about 8-8.30 pretty regularly.

This morning I was grumpy. Gary was gone at scout camp and when he's not here I tend to stay up late and not for anything worthwhile. I found myself watching music videos at midnight last night and then at 4am Oliver kicked off. He grumbled for about an hour and he was screaming by about 5am so he came into bed with me. I was hoping that I could stay in bed a bit later but Nathan came into the bedroom before 8, waking both me and the baby just to ask for an apple. I was NOT happy. When I got up I discovered that Leia and Spencer had gone into the pantry while I was asleep and eaten half a bag of rather expensive chocolate that I bought for myself. Now I am very lax when it comes to candy and my kids. Almost any time we venture into Target, Wal-mart, King Soopers, whatever, I buy the kids candy. Occasionally I have something in the house for myself. And this morning they ate that too. Writing it down totally lessens the crime. I'm kind of thinking "so what?" but this morning when I was tired I was MAD. Then the kids went outside to play.

Now we have a certain neighbor who is a good looking young man age 10. He has completely captured the hearts of all three of my older children, however I cannot characterize him as a great influence on them. He tells them we don't love them because they go to bed at 7pm and he threatens them with Samurai type violence according to Spencer, so the crime I'm about to describe doesn't sound too bad but it was a headache for me. The other day he convinced them to dig a big hole in the ground of the empty lot across the street and fill it with water creating a massive amount of mud. They then splashed around in it and attempted to track it through the house. I subsequently forbade them from playing in it. Gary's tools in the garage are also off limits to them.

So this morning while I was still grumpy they proceeded to get out Gary's tools, (fortunately I caught them before they did anything with them), and then they rode their bikes through the mud and covered our driveway in it as well as themselves and the garage floor. At this point I lost it. I docked their allowance to cover my chocolate, shouted at them pretty good and made them spend the rest of their morning cleaning their bedrooms and bathroom. I knew I appeared pretty insane to them as in the end they were crying and accusing me of not loving them. I rarely shout at them. OH BOY!
Well I apologized and we had a good talk about what I expected from them since they receive a lot of service from me 24/7. But I understand how little children can grasp of that concept. I never had a clue until I became a parent myself. No doubt we'll have the same conversation many more times in the future.
I've cooled down a considerable amount but going out for icecream has still been cancelled and I think I might go and buy a book.

On reflection I feel incredibly blessed. 5 weeks into the summer and I have had tiring busy days but this has probably been the only one where I've cast my mind ahead to the start of school. I even didn't feel burned out when Spencer split his head open AGAIN on Wednesday. We have about 4 weeks left and I think we can manage nicely. I might even be sad when school starts again, something that I couldn't have said at the end of last summer.

My Dad.

2010-06-20T11:09:00.001-07:00

Leia and Grandad Alan - May 2003

I wish I could talk to my Dad today. So much has happened in our lives since he left us. Oliver joined us and how he would have loved little Oliver. We have moved twice. Dad would have enjoyed Colorado Springs immensely. He was a lover of the great outdoors and God's creations.

But most of all I'd just like to talk. To tell him how much I miss him and think about him. Two years have passed and I still feel the pain of it all. I could confide in him, ask him for advice. He was loving, kind, gentle, and a leader. I would thank him again for the beautiful art work he gave me, the appreciation of books he taught me, and the example he was to me of so many excellent qualities.

So just in case you can understand my heart at all today Dad. I love you so much.

Fun with Oliver

2010-04-30T18:08:00.000-07:00

Mayhem at Macys

2010-04-28T17:33:00.000-07:00

Boy has it been a day and a half. I am just exhausted mentally. Oliver is going through something digestive and it has upset his routine. He has also decided he hates his car seat and has been screaming in it for a large chunk of the day.
After getting the kids on the bus, I set out to find a cheap CD player for Spencer for his birthday on 8 May. You have no idea how hard thay are to find. He will only be 7 and has not been very responsible with his things as yet. I eventually found one but it was too close to carpool time to go back home before setting out. So Oliver did spend a long time in the carseat. From about 9am-12pm. By the time I picked up my two little boys, Oliver screamed for the entire run. He was catatonic by the time I got him home. One of my sweet little charges kept saying "it's okay Oliver" over and over until he eventually realized he was getting nowhere and gave up.
By the time I calmed him down it was visiting teaching time. He would fall asleep for a few minutes here and there during the day but didn't sleep for one decent stretch at all. Once visiting teaching was done for the day, it was time to embark on the return carpool journey. Cue more screaming. The air conditioning was inexplicably not working and it was more than 70 degrees out which in Colorado Springs is even hotter because of the sun. My boys must have thought they were in the Twilight Zone. I can't deal with Oliver crying. To me it's the most upsetting sound in the world. I was turning up the tunes to try and drown him out. I forgot to turn the speakers off in the back and so there were my three five year old boys sweating their tushies off while being blasted by dance music.
Gary and I had made plans to go to Macy's when he got home from work to look at their furniture. We need a few things and he has a 25% company discount there. Well we arrived at the store with all 4 kids in tow (what was I thinking?). Gary was carrying Oliver and as soon as Gary sat down on a couch, Oliver started screaming again. And he wouldn't stop. The other three were running around in there like wild things, jumping on beds, throwing themselves at expensive leather sectionals, climbing on displays etc... The mature sales associate looked a little shellshocked at what was occuring in her department. We grabbed a few flyers and tried to look around before we could no longer ignore just how embarrassing we were actually being and decided to leave.
On the way out I was so cross with the kids that I refused to tell them what I was cooking for dinner, an inquiry that I get every single afternoon as soon as the kids walk in the door from school. The answer is usually met with various reactions including disgust or disappointed sighs and I WASN'T in the mood. So Leia called Gary and I "stupidheads" when we were out of earshot which Spencer helpfully reported to us. She then tried to do that thing you do in school when caught gossiping about someone and you say "I was talking about someone else". Yeah right!
Once home we had the usual homework issues. Leia hardly ever takes responsibilty for her homework and we have to micro-manage her or it won't get done and she won't care. I feel like I am back in school sometimes. There was crying and wringing of hands.
During dinner, Oliver started screaming again. At this point he had just not had a decent enough nap to be able to cope with his little life any longer. I ate my dinner at the speed of light (oh for the days of quiet relaxing dinners) and popped him in the bath where he speedily regained a bit of good humor thankfully and after one last feed was out like a light by 6pm. I usually put him down at 7pm in order to avoid super early mornings but he seems to be making his own schedule and about 5pm is the point where he has had enough and needs his bedtime routine to begin.
Just for fun we put the others to bed at 6pm as well. I simply couldn't take any more stimulation from my wonderful children. I need Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert and lots and lots of chocolate!

On a lighter note, here are some shots of Oliver. He turned three months old yesterday and despite the screaming could not be any cuter.

Fashion victim?

2010-04-22T20:45:00.000-07:00

Spencer is such an interesting little chap. He's quiet, yet he lets you know when he's not happy about something. He's so sweet and vulnerable, yet extremely confident. He's so so skinny but eats second and third helpings at dinner. He struggled to read during Kindergarten and then a few months into 1st grade, it just clicked and now he reads everything. He's so creative. He's loving. He wears his Daddy's cologne and tells me I look nice. And he has ZERO dress sense.

He has gone to school the last two days in this ensemble. He has this obsession with belts and wears this one frequently. The trouble is that he is so slight. Thankfully today he did not wear socks pulled up to his knees, something else he inexplicably favors.

What can I do about this boy?

Bless his heart, the belt makes the material bunch. It makes him look even skinnier if that's possible.

He told me today that he looks really cool. How can I convince this boy I love madly that in a few years he's going to get his butt kicked on the playground while helping him to maintain his self-esteem?

By the way all the clothes I buy him are current and stylish but the way he combines them, tucks things in, and incorporates accessories are what kills it.

This morning.

2010-03-16T07:31:00.000-07:00

This morning so far has been beyond frustrating. I woke up around 7 as did Oliver and he wanted to be fed. Except that I had two lunches to make and three other breakfasts to provide. Since Oliver had been fed only two hours ago I figured he wouldn't starve so I put him off for 15 minutes while I dealt with the lunches and breakfasts. There is nothing else that can put you on edge like your crying baby. I think it's inbuilt to protect infants from neglect or something but I just feel all wrong if he needs something and is crying. I got it all done and was able to feed the baby. It literally gave me a few minutes to breathe and then it was Spencer's turn to drive me crazy.

Now I like to see my children well dressed. I figure that they have enough to deal with growing up today without having to worry about their clothes and what that means in terms of peer pressure etc... Now I don't spend a TON of money (I love a good bargain), but we do go to a few favorite stores at the beginning of each season and make sure the kids have outfits to get them through the season. Each year it seems that Spencer latches on to one particular outfit and wears it day in and day out. It does mean that Nathan inherits a mostly unused wardrobe the following year but for me it's incredibly frustrating. I can imagine his school teachers wondering why I only provide him one pair of pants and one shirt. But I swallow any annoyances and mostly let him make his own clothing decisions. I keep the outfit clean so at least he's not dirty as well.
This year, half the outfit of choice was a pair of blue jeans. A pretty standard vintage wash, boot cut pair of jeans. About 6 weeks into the season one knee was ripped. I don't like to see the kids in damaged clothes so I decided that I needed to put the jeans away. Well this caused untold misery on Spencer's part so I got him a replacement pair. Now it's almost Spring so this second pair have lasted awhile but they too became torn in the knee a week or so ago. Last night I crept into his room and retrieved the jeans which he has still been wearing despite the rip. I hid them in the storage room. Meaning I buried them under a pile of other clothes. The only way Spencer will accept having to wear something else is if those jeans are soaking wet or he can't find them.
So to my surprise and irritation, after Spencer had finished eating breakfast and had gone to get dressed, he came upstairs wearing the ripped jeans and a button down Sunday shirt. The kids are not supposed to go into the storage room for a start and I swear that kid can find anything I don't want him to. I told him to go and change and to put the jeans back into the storage room.

Another thing I try not to do is to put seasonal inappropriate clothes in their drawers with the exception of a few t-shirts year round for relaxing in the house in. Spencer then decided to come upstairs wearing a t-shirt and pair of shorts he normally wears as pajamas. (It's 35 degrees outside right now) At this point I was just done with it all. We were getting late for the bus and my patience was running out. I marched him down the stairs and demanded that he put on a really nice pair of brown cargo pants and a long sleeved shirt. He must have seen that I wasn't in the mood for any more messing around as he meekly complied for once. Normally this would elicit shouting, crying and slamming doors.
While Spencer finished getting his shoes on I put a sleeping baby in the car with Leia and Nathan. I was tying Spencer's shoelaces when I heard the baby screaming. According to Leia, Nathan was responsible but I had no time to find out exactly what was going on. All I knew was that we made it to the bus stop with literally 2 seconds to spare. The baby was crying once again and I was tense. The upside was that Spencer looked nicer that he has in weeks. His teacher is going to think his neglectful parents finally got a clue and bought him some decent clothes!

Back at home I sat down for just a couple of minutes to hopefully shove a bit of food down my throat when the phone rang. Leia was calling me from the school office in tears. She is doing some sort of presentation this afternoon on snow leopards and she had left a model she had made of one at home and wanted to know if I could bring it in to school. Well I looked where she told me it was and I couldn't see it. I vaguely remembered a black and white lump of modelling clay hanging around the house last night but my search turned up nothing. I had to talk Leia down. Phrases such as "I'm dead", and "I'm useless at drawing" kept coming out of her mouth and it was hard to reassure her. In the end I told her to go and request some more clay from the teacher and make another snow leopard before lunch. I tried not to sound exasperated but really she should not have brought something home that she needed at school the next day.

Meanwhile the baby fell asleep in the swing. Just as I was about to write this post he woke up screaming AGAIN because he was passing gas. I'm writing this while trying to soothe the baby and asking myself why, on top of everything else, have I been blessed with a high maintenance baby? Surely I deserved a mellow one with three kids already. That's how it should work right?

Apart from that, it's a great day!

Gotcha!

2010-03-13T16:49:00.001-08:00

I finally got a good smile picture. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.

And here is a great picture I got the other day of Oliver sleeping with his hand in the air. He does this a lot and I love it!

Smile?

2010-03-08T11:47:00.000-08:00

I've been trying over the last few days to capture Oliver's first sweet smiles.

I've been getting a lot of this face.....

And plenty of this face........

And occasionally I've gotten this little hint.....

I'm always that tiny bit late for the gummy grin that follows and is gone so soon. Hopefully I'll capture it soon.

January 26 - now.

2010-03-07T18:34:00.000-08:00

So I wanted to get some feelings down since Oliver is almost 6 weeks old. This blog plus my scrapbooks are my journal and there's things I don't want to forget. I often refer back to this blog when I'm scrapbooking for chronology and for details I may have forgotten. So be warned. If you're not interested in birth, and breastfeeding, then you might want to skip this post.

***********************

So on the evening of January 26, 2010 I went to bed at around 11pm. I knew I was heading toward labor so Mum and I had gone to the Mall that day to walk around so as well as being late to bed I was REALLY tired. I had just turned out the light and was getting drowsy when I felt something in my belly. Trying to describe it is hard. It was kind of like a feeling of tearing something. It kind of pinched. I put it down to another pregnancy pain and there are plenty of those when you're 39 weeks. Then I began to feel pain. It wasn't like a traditional contraction. It was like my lower back was on fire. I knew I had to get up and walk around. When I stood up I knew my water had broken. I was expecting it because my water broke with all three of my other children but this was a little different. There was no big waterfall. But a woman knows, especially when it's not the first time.

Once we got to the hospital, (leaving the sleeping kids safely tucked up in bed with Grandma at home - the biggest blessing and relief I can tell you), I was checked into this triage room so a nurse could decide if I was in labor or not, never mind the contractions 4 minutes apart or the fact that I told her my water had broken.
I appreciate that the nurse had her job to do but putting me in stirrups and getting out the speculum to test the fluid coming out of me seems slightly overkill considering I'm having #4. She was treated to the waterfall I had expected earlier. And she still tested the fluid???

Once installed in my laboring room, I got my epidural. The anesthesiologist spent no more than 15 minutes with me and the bill was $1300 for that 15 minutes plus the medicine. Guess I know what I'm going to be in my next life! And then it didn't work properly. On my right side it worked just fine but on my left I could still feel every contraction. I had this button I could push once every 20 minutes for more medicine. In an effort to relieve the pain on the left side I kept turning over and pushing the button. The result was a dead right leg and still no pain relief on my left side. My nurse kept asking me if I wanted another epidural but by that time I was almost ready to push and I couldn't see the point.
In the end it was good that I could still feel labor because pushing was fairly easy compared to the 6 hours of contractions. My body just took it over and Oliver was born at 6.54am on January 27, 2010. When the doctor put him on my chest it looked for a moment like he had blood all over his head but I didn't tear or have an episiotomy. And then I realised it was hair. Hair? Where did that come from? It was love at first sight - intense and overwhelming. I cried and I didn't cry at either Spencer or Nathan's birth. Not that I feel more for Oliver, I think it was to do with how much I had forgotten about the emotion of giving birth and what this tiny human being that has been a part of your body for so long feels like in your arms finally. He is so beautiful. And perfect.

My recovery in the hospital was surprisingly fast. Aside from having to have my nurse clean me up after giving birth because of my useless right leg, I felt good very soon afterwards. Of course I could concentrate on myself because Gary was off work and Mum was taking care of the children. Oliver was latching on well and I had high hopes for smooth sailing for the rest of Mum's visit. I totally underestimated the effect hormones were going to have on me especially when breastfeeding didn't go according to plan.

Those of you who know me well know that breastfeeding has never been my favorite thing in the world. I experience intense soreness, both nipple soreness and during letdown. The nipple soreness eventually goes away but the letdown pain is always there. Nursing with Leia went well until she was three months old and wasn't gaining weight. I supplemented and eventually she wouldn't nurse. I struggled with Spencer when he got his first two teeth before he was three months old and started biting me. And then with Nathan, I had 3 and 1 year olds that needed me and I couldn't dedicate the time. I nursed him for three months also and then put him on formula. I have always wished that I could have a nursing relationship with my baby that was free from pain, anxiety, and often guilt for not doing better. I spent the whole of Oliver's pregnancy vowing with all my heart to nurse him for a year etc etc.... I had it all built up in my mind that this time would be different and I would love it.

Initially I was doing great. Oliver LOVED breastfeeding and my Sister and Mum sent me nipple shields that were helping me through the pain. I still got cracked nipples but I could cope. And then one night a few days before he was two weeks old I started feeling something different in the middle of the night. I had just nursed him and was trying to get back to sleep when my nipple started burning. It was unbearable. I wanted to claw at my nipple to get it to stop. It went on for about an hour and then subsided. Over the next few days it progressed to shooting pain in my breasts after every feeding as well as the burning. I just can't explain how horrible it was. I started to pump my milk for Oliver and use the nipple shields more since less contact between my nipple and his mouth seemed to help.

At his two week appointment I discussed the possibility of thrush with Oliver's doctor. I didn't think I had mastitis because I had no temperature. The doctor said that she didn't think Oliver had it because he had no white patches in his mouth so she just gave me some Nystatin for my nipples. After a few days it was not working and the pain was getting worse. I researched it on the internet and was convinced we both had thrush. I made an appointment with my own doctor. She suggested it was chafing since Oliver had no visible symptoms. CHAFING? Are you kidding me? She gave me a couple of pills. Two days later it was still getting worse. The way I'm writing it, I know it doesn't sound that bad but I was becoming desperate. I was teary nearly all the time and wanted to scream when my milk let down. Only my Mum and Gary really knew what I was going through. I felt like both Oliver's doctor and mine had failed me and I didn't know what to do. I called a lactation consultant who said I had thrush but that I would have to go to my own doctor for treatment. I cried some more. And then I turned to the internet again. I read that sometimes thrush can show no visible symptoms either in the mother or the baby, that it is vital that both are treated simultaneously, that treatment needs to be aggressive and ongoing,and that I had several risk factors for the infection including cracked nipples and using a steroid (I have severe nasal allergies). My last ditch effort was to switch doctors and take along my internet information to convince my new doctor to treat me and the baby correctly. Two days earlier I had decided I couldn't do it anymore and stopped nursing for a whole day. 5pm had me sitting in the bath crying my eyes out while I leaked all over the place and Oliver screamed the house down. I changed my mind again and that's when I decided to change doctors.

My new doctor looked over the information I brought, tried to look at my milk under a microscope but was unsuccessful and finally decided to treat me for deep breast thrush as well as Oliver. I got Diflucan for a week and Oliver got Nystatin for his mouth.

At this point I was hoping for a cure and that I could continue breastfeeding. By the middle of the treatment the symptoms were much better but as soon as the course of Diflucan was done the symptoms came back. I was down to just pumping but I couldn't pump enough to prevent getting engorged overnight and it was so painful. I made the decision AGAIN to give it up. I spent the next week crying on and off. I would say I mourned the loss in a way. My expectations and hopes had been so high. The closeness and emotional connection is very special. Oliver is likely my last baby and this is the end of an era for me.

So here we are and Oliver is almost 6 weeks old. I finally feel that I've gotten off the emotional rollercoaster. AT LAST. Despite being a wonderful time in my life, in some ways it's been a bad time too. I got very introspective and maudlin at times. I wasn't enjoying Oliver the way I should have and even though I had so much support from Gary and Mum I did feel alone. It was like a mini depression. Baby blues times 10.

Now I feel like things are sunshiney. Oliver loves being close to me in a baby carrier and wearing him like that is more fulfilling to me than breastfeeding. I plan to wear him every day for as long as he wants to. He is getting chubby in his little legs and cheeks. We are establishing a bedtime routine and he is smiling every day. I plan to catch it on camera soon. I am so grateful for the blessing of four healthy beautiful children. The sleep deprivation is the only thing right now that I am not enjoying. I will be happy when he sleeps through the night and I can once again.

Here are a few pictures from the past 6 weeks.

He loves to be bathed. I have been bathing him every evening and then massaging him. It really helps with fussiness.

He keeps trying to suck his thumb. I hope he is a thumb sucker like Leia. Self soothers are a gift.

Doting big brother. In fact Oliver couldn't ask for more loving siblings.

Beautiful sleeping boy. I spend a lot of time just looking at him.

Grandma Shirley. What can I say except I am so grateful that she is my mother. Having her with me for five weeks was just what I needed. A lot of things have happened over the past 18 months but the blessings that have come in spite of it all are many. Having Mum here with me at this time has been one of them. I'll ALWAYS remember this time we had and how it brought us even closer.

Oliver

2010-01-30T17:55:00.001-08:00

I took this photo in the very early morning in my hospital room. He was about 24 hours old. We are so in love with this little guy and already can't imagine life without him.

I've spent 9 months imagining moments like this and it couldn't be any better!

2009 in review.

2009-12-31T18:02:00.000-08:00

January - It was so warm and we got to go hiking on two weekends. Nathan split his head open and had to have 5 staples, and we had Grandma Shirley with us for a while.

February - We took the kids to see their first IMAX 3D movie. Gary and I went to his work's winter Gala on Valentines Day and I made chocolate covered strawberries for the first time which were met with rave reviews.

March - The kids decided they wanted a dog so Gary and I decided we'd go for a baby instead. We hiked the Crags beyond Woodland Park on the other side of the mountain, and my little baby Nathan turned 4.

April - We got snow. Gary caught some kind of virus and suffered some hearing loss in his right ear, and the kids were ill over Easter.

May - Leia turned 8 and was baptised. I felt old. Spencer also turned 6. We had Mum, Rachel, Ben, Max, Gary's Mom and Jim with us during the month. We grilled a lot.

June - We continued to enjoy visiting with Rachel, Ben and Max. I drove all the way up Pikes Peak and wasn't scared. Crazy Town was told that it was expecting a new resident. (not a dog!)

July - Spencer chased a deer around the backyard. I felt sick all month but I got to hear a beautiful little heartbeat. Our tenants ran out on us without paying two months rent leaving the house trashed. Gary had to drive to Ohio and renovate. My stress level increased.

August - The boys went out on a father/son campout and Leia and I had girl time. It was HOT HOT HOT and the lack of air conditioning in the house made my fourth month of pregnancy difficult.

September - School got back into full swing. We found out that another little boy was coming our way. The children dealt with their own issues getting used to the structure and expectations that a new grade brings. I turned 30.

October - For the second year in a row we had a warm Halloween and the kids could go out in just their costumes and have a wonderful time.

November - We sold our house in Ohio FINALLY and my stress levels began to decrease. I actually put on some weight. I blogged every day about what I was thankful for and Thanksgiving was lovely.

December - CHRISTMAS! Leia sold truffles at school. We went to a carol concert, it snowed and we waited in anticipation for Santa who managed to get us all something we really wanted. My tummy got really big.

I'm very excited about 2010 and what it will bring. Hopefully it'll bring us one step closer to being able to buy a home here and to feel more settled. And of course we are all waiting in anticipation to meet the sixth member of Crazy Town.

Christmas Recap

2009-12-31T17:46:00.000-08:00

Christmas was lovely. It was just us and our traditions. On Christmas Eve we had a feast, opened a present or two, watched Polar Express together and left treats and milk for Santa. On Christmas Day we played with the kids all day long apart from the time I spent cooking which wasn't too long as I made sure what I had planned was low maintenance. We played new board games, Leia painted, the boys and Daddy played with Legos. At Christmas dinner we pulled crackers and wore our silly hats. We ate WAY too much and went to bed WAY too late and as a result the next few days were marked by a few upset stomachs and three overtired children. But as I said it was lovely. An interlude before 5 become 6 and things change forever.

Right after Santa visited our house. I love the way that looks. It's always sad that it lasts all of 30 minutes or so.

Going DS crazy. Looks like some rules and rationing will have to be implemented.

The disaster area that was the living room after present opening.

Gary spent 5 hours on Christmas Day putting together legos for the boys. But I know he enjoys it and has been waiting to do it since the boys were newborns!

Christmas dinner. One of my most favorite traditions.

3rd Grade Products Fair

2009-12-18T17:52:00.000-08:00

Today the 3rd Grade at Leia's school held a products fair as part of a weeks long Community project. It was so much fun. Each child had to come up with a product to sell at the fair. They decided how much to sell their product for and had to rent a booth by donating a toy to charity. They made their own money which they gave to parents to attend the fair to buy their products with. We also had to donate a toy to get into the fair.
Leia decided to make truffles and her and I got to work. Then she packaged them up ready for the fair. She was responsible for keeping an account of what she sold and she had made signs to advertise her product.

Here she is packaging up her truffles. Two to a bag, one chocolate, one chocolate peppermint.

Here she is keeping careful account of her sales.

She just LOVED the whole experience.

The truffles were a huge hit. She had repeat customers and sold out very fast. She was so confident that she had prepared the "sold out" sign in case of this eventuality. But she didn't mind one bit as this left her plenty of time to go and spend the money she had made at the fair.

I'm very tired tonight. With trying to help Leia plan for the fair and all the end of term stuff that has been going on, I am so happy to sit here and veg. I really need some down time. I know I'll be ready for the kids to go back to school at the end of two weeks but Gary is taking some time off during the holiday and it will be wonderful to spend time with him and the kids and our Christmas traditions. It's going to be a lot of craziness and high spirits but a lot of laughter and fun also.

Christmas Concert.

2009-12-13T19:57:00.000-08:00

I thought this might be the year for us. The year where we could go out to evening Christmas events and all enjoy it together. Our children are in a very regular bedtime routine and are in bed by 7pm. We have so far had to avoid evening Christmas events particularly spiritual events (we do go out to parties where they can run around) because the kids just can't handle it.
Tonight we decided to give it a try. There was a large Christmas concert at church and the handbells in particular always get rave reviews. I love Christmas music and was really looking forward to it. We sold it to the kids via the promise of refreshments served after the concert. We arrived half an hour early to get good seats which we did, although we were sharing the bench at the front with three other families so we felt snug to say the least.
Half an hour in, the boys were asking when we were going home. Nathan was so tired he was flailing around and generally being fidgetty. I gave the kids a piece of gum to try and hold them off. Spencer and Leia hung in there pretty good but Nathan was just done. At 7.45pm he fell fast asleep under the bench in front. Meanwhile, it was getting hotter and hotter in the chapel. My ankles turned into cankles and the band aids I had stuck over my belly button to stop my guts from spilling out, were seriously irritating my skin and pulling on it.
At the end of the concert, Gary picked up Nathan who stayed resolutely asleep. We decided to avoid the crush at the refreshment tables. There were hundreds of people there and Nathan really needed to be in bed. Well Leia and Spencer were horrified that they weren't going to get the cookie or whatever it was they had been promised. I could tell Spencer was really working himself up over it by the clenched fists and facial expression. Fortunately I managed to save the day by allowing them an edible tree ornament once we got home. Nathan just wanted to get straight in bed, that's how exhausted he was.
So that was a once in a few years experience for us. Next year we'll have a baby that will definitely not be leaving the house after 7pm.
But one thing I can say is that the music and the handbells were GLORIOUS!

Sympathy is welcome!

2009-12-09T10:00:00.000-08:00

At this point in my life over the last two days, all I can think to do to avoid doing something very dysfunctional is to blog all about it and eat lots of chocolate while doing it. THANKFULLY my wonderful sister sent me a package with my absolute favorite chocolate in it and it arrived the other day. I literally only get to taste this chocolate a few times a year and it's perfect for chasing away the blues.
On Monday night a winter storm rolled in. Where we are, we couldn't have gotten more than 6 inches but the temperatures are RIDICULOUS. The wind chills at one point yesterday made it feel like double digits below (for all those Brits out there we are talking -30 degrees celcius).
So anyway, on Monday there was some snow on the ground. School was in thankfully and I had errands to run. I packed Nathan up and off we went. The car was making some whiny noises, almost as if it was complaining about the weather conditions. Especially when I turned the wheel, the noises would get worse. I finished the errands, made it home thankfully and called Gary. He thought it was probably to do with the icy roads but said we'd go out when he got home and see what the car was doing then. When he got home, we went out for a spin and the noise was obviously not to do with the weather at that point. Since it got louder when the wheel turned, Gary figured it might be to do with the power steering. He opened up the hood and checked the power steering fluid which was very low. He bought some more and filled it up. As we drove around a bit more the noise started to die down. We congratulated ourselves on being good car sleuths and put the car in the garage thinking that the problem was solved.
Well the storm rolled in Monday night and school was cancelled yesterday. This was a real irritation because I had an OB appointment that morning. If it was a warm sunny day and I had to tote all the kids to the doc, it wouldn't be so bad but with the temperature outside being 2 degrees F/-16 degrees C, it required a lot of planning. By the time I got my shower that morning, it was just before I had to leave. I had no time to wait for my hair to dry or even get the hairdryer out. I got the kids bundled up, threatened them with strangling if they misbehaved at the doctor's, and piled in the car. As soon as we got out of the neighborhood I realised that the noise was louder than ever and as I turned onto the main road the wheel seemed stiff somehow. By the time we entered the parking lot it was obvious the power steering was completely out. I was having to navigate the treacherous conditions and crank the wheel with all I had just to get around the corners. But the most scary thing was the noise. I mean it sounded like the car was hysterically crying. And of course the kids were bothered by it. It's only a two year old car and always runs smoothly.
Getting from the car to the office was awful. The wind was blowing sideways. Of course I had worn my shades to combat the glare from the snow and in my rush I left my regular glasses in the car. Once inside I realised what I had done and had to run back out to the car to get them. Because my hair was wet, it froze. I have never had this experience before. It was stiff as a board. I have no idea what I looked like but by the time I got into the bathroom to produce my urine sample, it had thawed.
After the appointment where the kids were pretty good all things considered, we returned to the car and said a prayer to get home without incident. Apart from getting sore muscles from fighting with the steering wheel, we made it home safely and I called Gary who arranged a towing service to take the car to the dodge dealership. Turns out a hose or something was broken and power steering fluid was leaking out. They said they could have the car fixed by sometime this afternoon. One day without the car. I can deal with that right? WRONG!
This morning school was delayed two hours due to record low temperatures and bad road conditions. I already knew I had to walk the kids to the bus stop instead of driving them in my pre-warmed car but I had a battle plan. Scarves around faces etc... I got a phone alert this morning about 8am saying that our school district was having bus trouble and the bus could be up to 30 minutes late. The operative word here was COULD. It didn't mean we could show up at the bus stop 30 minutes later than usual because everything might have been fine. We would have to stand out there from the normal time onward just in case.
The morning ticked along. Leia tried to steal Spencer's Leapster and I told her that she needed to play her own game system which is a Leapster Didj for older kids. She then informed me that she didn't know where it was and hadn't known for weeks??? I was so mad. I think the last few days was getting on my nerves. I told her that she needed to find it before school or Christmas would be cancelled. I hate making threats I know I can't actually come through on but I said it in the heat of the moment. I have such a hard time with the disregard and lack of respect the kids show for their possessions. Both Leia and Spencer's room were completely torn up and still it wasn't found. Eventually Leia convinced Nathan to admit he'd thrown it in the trash. I have no idea if this is true or not. When I got Nathan on his own, he said he hadn't thrown it in the trash. But at this point I was fuming, to the point of tears. We've just finished Christmas Shopping for the kids for this year and I almost don't want to give them more expensive things to lose. Leia was in tears and I couldn't trust myself to say anymore.
Well we set off for the bus stop. I looked like a Russian refugee or something but the kids seemed impervious to the cold. They were just happy to get a chance to play in the snow drifts. Leia was still melancholy and we hadn't spoken so I took her hand on the way to the bus stop. I hate sending them off to school with any bad feelings. She immediately teared up again and said she was sorry and that she'd find it when she got home. I reassured her but I'm pretty sure that it's not anywhere in the house. C'est la vie. No more Didj. I know I'll get over it and to be honest I just can't stay mad over something which is unimportant in the grand scheme of things.
Well after 30 minutes of standing at the bus stop in the frigid cold I began to realize the bus wasn't coming. The kids were happy playing cake boss and using the snow to make their cakes but I was miserable. I sat on a piece of concrete for as long as I could stand it but then I began to worry about hemorrhoids, something I'd rather blank out considering what's on the horizon for me in the near future anyway! Just as I was about to bawl, a nice neighor who I don't actually know stopped and offered to drive us all up to the school. I could have kissed her feet. Sometimes we do a small act of kindness for someone and we don't realise what a difference it makes. I don't think that she had any idea how grateful I was although I tried to artiiculate it.
So here I am. I've eaten two chocolate bars and had a large cup of hot chocolate with cream in it and I feel much more at ease. Nathan has been picked up and taken to school and it is the quietest it's been since Monday night. I can't bear to think of the mess downstairs. Gary is going to have to help me face that when he gets home from work as the amount of bending over it's going to take to get things back in order is something I'm not prepared for right now.
I expect I better go and try to eat something better than sugar or sugar for my lunch at least for the sake of the future troublemaker and anxiety producer hanging with me for the next 8 weeks.

Sidenote: If the car is not done today, Gary will have to take the kids to either the bus stop or school in the morning even if it makes him late for work.

Here's to kicking off the Christmas Season!

2009-11-30T10:37:00.000-08:00

I. I am so thankful for all my blessings. The gospel of Jesus Christ in my life, being able to be with my wonderful family forever, Gary's job, a comfortable home, friends, health, and much more besides. I can't name it all and throughout the experience of articulating what I'm thankful for this month I've come to the realization that life is really amazing. It was so tough moving out here and receiving the news that Dad had died. There were some really dark days especially as the ordeal with the house dragged on and on. But even though Dad is not here, I know I will see him again and I have the rest of my family, both my own extended family, Gary's extended family, and our own little unit here in Colorado Springs. I am very happy.

2. I am thankful that Nathan finally got to feel the baby move. For weeks now I have been trying to get Nathan to feel my tummy but every time the baby stops moving. Nathan always says "Wow" as if he's actually felt something but he hasn't. Since he's the youngest, I haven't been sure if he really understands. This morning the baby was really jumping around, (probably due to the rolos I'd just eaten) and when Nathan put his hand on my tummy the movement was really strong. Nathan's eyes got so wide and he looked totally shocked. It was a great moment.

3. I am thankful that when I went online this morning, our mortagage loan showed a balance of $0.00. So amazing after the rollercoster that has been the last 16 months. It's liberating. Maybe we'll just have a huge estate sale and move to England now with nothing but the clothes on our backs and start over. (Not going to happen but a very fun fantasy nonetheless)

4. I am thankful for the free Walmart photo with Santa. It fits into my budget very nicely and Santa is always so fake looking, it's funny. The beard looks like cotton wool and you can see the guy's dark stubble underneath. But the kids enjoy it immensely and when I was food shopping on Friday and Gary took them for the photo, it got them out from under my feet for a while.

5. I am thankful that I made it to the end of the month without missing any days since I started. Thanks to my friend for the suggestion. I might make it a tradition. But now I am blogged out and you might not hear from us for a while. You can be sure we'll be enjoying the season and hoping you are all doing the same.

Happy Christmas from all of us!

One more day to go!

2009-11-29T19:56:00.000-08:00

1. I am thankful that we got most of the Christmas Decorations up. I decorated the mantel with lights and our various nativity sets, nutcracker, candle holders etc... while Gary got out the tree and strung it with lights. The kids were in bed and originally we had planned on doing everything to cut down on the chaos. But in the end we stopped short of putting the ornaments on the tree. The kids will be so excited to put them on tomorrow evening.

2. I am thankful that Leia loves to talk to her Grandma on the phone. It's hard having my family so far away but despite it all, our relationships are as close as ever.

And I think someone is also trying to steal my body pillow!

3. I am thankful that the kids go back to school tomorrow. Three weeks of school will get us all excited to be together again for Christmas Break.

4. I am thankful that the kids BEG me to make egg sandwiches for them for lunch. At least I know that tomorrow they will eat their sandwiches and not skip straight to the cookies.

5. I am thankful that I could get my boots off after church today. As I was sitting in a meeting my legs were tingling and going numb. I think I better stop forcing my legs into small boots at least until February!

Of a more trivial nature.

2009-11-28T19:03:00.000-08:00

1. I am thankful for free movies. I had someone in the line at Redbox tell me a code (I smiled at him and then he told me the code. I've always believed in smiling at strangers and it's paid off for once!) and then we got one emailed to us.

2. I am thankful that Christmas Shopping for the kids is done.

3. I am thankful for my favorite t-shirt that is big enough to house me and the little guy and will still do so 10 weeks from now. And it's not a man's shirt either. I got it from Victoria's Secret.

4. I am thankful for great literature. There's nothing better than words strung together in an artistic way. The English language when used well can be beautiful. I despise a lot of modern words especially swear words. I find it very difficult to read books where such words are used. I'm re-reading a favorite right now and it's a great way to end my day.

5. I am thankful we were able to remain firm in a show down with Spencer tonight. He can be so tenacious in a meltdown. He can't win in these scenarios or we would lose his respect and our ability to discipline him in the future. Some children will look for the cracks and exploit them. Spencer is one of those!

Beware: A Christmas Carol may scare children!

2009-11-27T19:36:00.000-08:00

1. I am thankful that the kids went to sleep really well tonight. We took them to see Disney's A Christmas Carol today and it was much scarier than I anticipated. In fact all three kids seemed unsettled after it. I was half expecting them to be scared at bedtime but no such problems. Here's hoping that we don't get any middle of the night visits.

2. I am thankful that I didn't show up at Target until 8.30 this morning. When I got there the crowd gave me palpitations. I managed to get one good bargain and although most of the specials were gone, I wasn't in the market for them anyway. I can't imagine what it was like when the doors opened. Overall, once I'd been to a few places including the mall I came to the conclusion that Black Friday shopping is not generally worth the crowds and the fighting for parking spots.

3. I am thankful that we had leftovers from yesterday. It's nice not to have to cook and the leftovers were almost as good as the first time around.

4. I am thankful that we have all our Christmas decorations. It has seemed that every year up until now we have had to buy things to add to the collection. This year we won't need to buy anything. We can get out our stuff and decorate whenever the fancy takes us.

5. I am thankful that my Mum gets here in 8 weeks. I miss her. I wish my sister could come too. And bring her kids. The holidays make me sentimental.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2009-11-26T18:12:00.000-08:00

It's been a really beautiful day. Exactly how I pictured it going but better. The kids were quiet this morning and we didn't get up until 8.30am. At about 10am the boys headed out to the church Turkey Bowl and Leia and I made appetizers and things while watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. We had a nice table ready for the boys when they returned at about 12.30pm. After the food, Gary took the kids outside to put Christmas Lights on the house. The weather today was fantastic. It took a few hours and the kids were running around with no coats. Meanwhile I put the turkey in the oven and prepared the side dishes. I was all alone in the kitchen, cleaning up as I went along and by the time dinner was almost ready the kitchen was clean and the whole thing was pretty stress free. Our guests arrived and helped Gary finish up with the lights and then they played a game with the kids until dinner was ready. Dinner was perfect. I told myself that this year I would only make enough to feed everyone once but somehow we ended up with a fridge full of leftovers again. After dinner we played another game with the kids and then had dessert before our guests went home. The kids were exhausted at the end of the day. They have been absolutely angelic today. They loved every minute of the day and fell asleep straight away. Gary and I are now watching a movie and I plan to get an early night before another busy day tomorrow.

1. I am thankful for the beautiful weather today. The boys LOVED the football and it made putting up the lights less of a chore for Gary. It also allowed me to do my thing in the kitchen without too many "helpers".

2. I am thankful for wonderful dinner guests. Nathan called one of the missionaries "best buddy" all afternoon. They played with the kids and really contributed to the day.

3. I am thankful that dinner was actually fun to make and that everyone enjoyed it.

4. I am thankful for a moment today when Dad came into my mind and it made me smile. Home Alone was on TV and Dad used to laugh his head off at that movie. I could see him and hear him and remember again how thankful I am that he is my Dad.

5. I am thankful for all my many blessings especially my wonderful husband and children. I don't think I ever dreamed I would have so much.

Discussing the proper arrangement of Christmas Lights!

Dinner time.

A tiring day.

2009-11-25T19:42:00.000-08:00

1. I am thankful for all that I have accomplished today. I've cleaned two bathrooms, deep cleaned my kitchen, washed three loads of laundry to include bed sheets, picked up a prescription, shopped for some food, brined a turkey, prepared side dishes, started preparing desserts, coached the kids through cleaning the basement and their bedrooms including vacuuming and glass cleaning as well as all the other things I have to do anyway in the course of a regular day. I almost lost it when I was waiting for Gary to come home and the kids were being so noisy and my back hurt. But all my ducks are in a row for tomorrow and I can head to bed satisfied.

2. I am thankful that my kids were willing to help me with housework today. I took the vacuum cleaner downstairs and left Leia in charge of the main space and two bedrooms. She did an amazing job. I really don't think I could have done a better one. I often avoid letting the kids help because I think they'll do a poor job but today they surprised me. Even the boys stripped their beds, emptied trash and Spencer did a fair job of cleaning the glass in his and Nathan's closet doors.

3. I am thankful that Gary folded the laundry for me this evening. I just couldn't face it after everything else today. Even though I washed it all so Leia wouldn't freak out if she had to wear a pair of Spencer's tighty whities two days in a row, I hate to see a job half done.

4. I am thankful for Peggle. Just when I about had the aforementioned meltdown I managed to get the kids gathered around the computer. They were glued to a game of Peggle until Gary showed up to rescue me.

5. I am thankful for four day weekends. Bring on the holiday!

Thanksgiving is almost here folks!

2009-11-24T19:56:00.000-08:00

1. I am thankful for friends who come over at a moment's notice to give opinions on burns. Spencer's burn doesn't look nice today and I may have to take him to the doctors tomorrow for a round of antibiotics.

2. I am thankful for Spencer and Nathan holding hands or walking with their arms around each other while out shopping. They have their moments but they love each other so much. In fact all three of them are really enjoying being together this week.

3. I am thankful that the weather here is so great. Yes we have snow and very cold temperatures but in between it all sunny skies prevail and exercising outside is completely feasible even in winter. Gary has been exercising outside the last few weeks and taking the kids with him. The kids LOVE it. They ride their bikes or throw around a ball. Sometimes I see them imitating things Gary does while working out. They sure think that their Daddy is cool.

4. I am thankful that Gary is willing to rub my feet or back any time I ask him to. Pregnancy is not easy on the body especially the 4th time around. I seem to have had my fair share of aches and pains so far and while my Snoogle helps so much, there's no substitute for healing hands.

5. I am thankful that each day it is relatively easy for me to think of my five things. The blessing of doing this is beginning to reveal itself to me. I have been happier than in months and I know it is because I am noticing how beautiful my life is and what life really is all about.

Closing day.

2009-11-23T17:15:00.000-08:00

1. I am SO thankful that the house closed today. We got a call from our realtor about 4pm to say the papers were signed. It's been such a long road (about 16 months) that I can hardly believe it's true. I keep obsessively checking online to see if the mortgage has been paid off but of course I know it probably won't register for a day or two until the money arrives and the necessary office work is done.

2. I am thankful that now we only have to pay for the electricity, water, housing, and gas that we are actually using. I am also thankful that our insurance bill will also go down a bit.

3. I am thankful that Spencer's burn seems to be pretty pain free today. It doesn't look great this evening but he hasn't complained about it all day and Gary was even able to wash it a bit in the bath tonight.

4. I am thankful that Gary came home early today. I got a little nap on the sofa while Gary kept an eye on the kiddos.

5. I am thankful that the kids had an opportunity to blow the cobwebs away and play outside today. Tonight is supposed to be the coldest night yet this year but with some gloves, hats and determination, the kids were outside playing with a friend for over an hour.

The good and the bad.

2009-11-22T18:42:00.000-08:00

Today was a really nice day. For the most part. Leia was excited to wear her new Sunday shoes and church was good. After church I was able to get a nap (I had been having a few braxton hicks contractions), and then I cooked dinner. After dinner, the witching hour took full effect. The kids started spinning around in the living room making themselves really dizzy. It was a very chilly day so we had had the fire on for several hours. It's gas and closed in by a glass panel which gets very hot. Before I could even think about what was going on, Spencer spun out of control and fell against the glass. It was a brief contact but he burned his elbow. Some skin was off and some more was blistering after we ran his arm under the cold water and then dressed it. Of course as any of you who've had a burn know, it hurts like crazy. Spencer was really crying or should I say screaming and it was upsetting Nathan especially. He kept repeating over and over "Spencer's screaming" and the look on his face was concern bordering on mild panic. Leia took charge and took him into another room, closed the door and they said a prayer together. I didn't know about this until later. Fairly soon after that he calmed down and Leia felt that her prayer for Spencer had been answered. He's now asleep holding his football again, like he did last night.

1. I am thankful for quick thinking. We had Spencer's arm under the cold water immediately and I don't think that it's going to look too bad in the morning. I also hope since he was able to get to sleep fairly easily the pain will be shortlived.

2. I am thankful for Leia's intuition with Nathan and that the first thing she wanted to do was say a prayer for Spencer. Her childlike faith is a good example to me.

3. I am thankful for modern medicine. This was something to be dealt with at home but it just reminds me how grateful I am for good affordable health insurance and a hospital a few minutes from the house. Had we needed to, we could have had Spencer to the emergency room and treated immediately.

4. I am thankful that a football can comfort my son.

5. I am thankful that it is Thanksgiving break next week. I'm looking forward to having all my children close to me for the week. They spend so much time at school away from me and I only have a vague idea of how they spend their days. It will be nice to talk to them, play with them and celebrate Thanksgiving. I can see Leia and me cooking while the parade is on TV. Gary taking the boys to the park for football. Lots of laughing. Of course I am realistic enough to know that we'll all be ready for our regular routine at the end of the week. But that's what makes holiday time special. It's because we can't do it every day.

Shopping.

2009-11-21T19:08:00.000-08:00

1. I am thankful for $10 shoes for the kids at Target and Walmart. My kids are so active that they just keep wearing through one pair of shoes after another. I have tried the more expensive shoes and the result is the same. Sketchers or Cherokee, after a few months you can see socks peeking out in the toe area or the sole is coming away from the main part of the shoe. So it's $10 shoes for now. We bought a couple of pairs today and threw out the ones we bought at the end of August for the start of school.

2. I am thankful that Spencer saved his money over the last few months and finally got to buy something today. We were able to tell him we were proud of him for doing it and I feel good about teaching him a little something about responsibility. Both responsibility for his bedroom and keeping track of his glasses and responsibility to save for the things you want. It's especially great considering his big sister earned only $2 in the same time it took Spencer to make $11 (to be fair, $5 came from the tooth fairy) and all because she keeps leaving her homework at school. I hope that seeing Spencer will motivate Leia to remember her homework.

3. I am thankful that Spencer was set on getting a football today with his money. We walked through the toy section and he was faced with all sorts of tempting transformers, lego sets etc... But he knew exactly what he wanted and he wanted a new football to throw around the yard with his Daddy and to take to school to play with at recess. I love that he loves playing outside. He's a really great kid!

4. I'm thankful for brotherly love. When asked what he thought he might do the next time he saved $10, Spencer started talking about buying footballs for Leia and Nathan. He's such a sweetheart and that was the first thing that popped into his head rather than buying himself the other stuff he saw today in the toy department.

5. I am thankful that Thanksgiving dinner is planned and shopped for. I can now look forward to a day of yummy food, board games and Christmas movies. We'll maybe even consider getting out the Christmas Tree early since last year we invested in a non-perishable but nicely realistic fake tree.

Stuff

2009-11-20T16:01:00.000-08:00

Today we receieved our documents with the final amount of money we have to take to closing on Monday. We transferred the money and it felt like taking thousands of dollars of cash and flushing it down the toilet. I'm so angry about what has happened with the economy. And I'm angry about how we were all sold on the idea that owning a home was an investment, security for the future and all that crap.

1. I am thankful that we are out of the housing market mess. Despite the fact that we have our own mess to clean up, at least we can control this one and not be swept along by uncontrollable factors, something I HATE.

2. I am thankful for perspective. If I didn't have that, I could dwell on current circumstances and get depressed. All the important things are in tact and thriving while we deal with what is really only a side issue.

3. I am thankful for an evening out with the girls. Watching a movie featuring loads of truly sickening dialogue and not having to cook can banish the demons.

4. I am thankful that Gary waited up for me so I could talk about my evening. And this evening I had a lot to tell him.

5. I am thankful that Gary is letting me sleep in tomorrow morning. Sleep is the holy grail and I love that once a week I don't have to wake up to "I want, I want, I want."

H1N1 and tomorrow.

2009-11-19T19:17:00.000-08:00

1. I am thankful that tomorrow is Friday. I'm feeling a little run down at the end of this week and will enjoy a few days with Gary around.

2. I am thankful that Gary is buying the kids lunch at school tomorrow. Preparing lunches is something I can cross off my "to do" list during my busy morning.

3. I am thankful that Gary can rearrange his schedule and do extra hours here and there so he can eat lunch with the kids and then be home by 1pm. I am looking forward to spending an hour with Gary before Nathan will get home from school.

4. I am thankful for only minimal side effects after getting an H1N1 shot today. I was wandering around in Target and they announced they were doing a high risk clinic. I went to see if there was a line and there wasn't so I went ahead and got one. I've been feeling under the weather this evening but so far, no paralysis or anything scary like that!

5. I am thankful that I can take Tylenol during pregnancy. I'll definitely be taking advantage of that this evening.

Reflections on childhood and stuff........

2009-11-18T17:19:00.000-08:00

1. I am thankful that Gary has taken the kids to storytime at the school library tonight. It means one hour of total quiet. Even if the kids are in bed, inevitably there is always something. Someone has a sore tummy, someone needs a drink of water, someone is bothering someone else, the lightbulb in a nightlight needs changing or someone is out of batteries for their electronic devise. Hopefully they'll be more tired when they get home and the quiet will remain.

2. I am thankful I got up a little bit earlier than normal this morning. I had forgotten that Leia was giving a little speech in class today and she wanted me to do up her hair. They are doing this virtual community thing where they get a bank account, check book, and get to use it somehow. Today they were trying to get votes to be given a job in the community. Leia wants to be either the Mayor or Bank President. Fortunately, even though she had choir we still got her in her Sunday best and a bun in her hair.

3. I am thankful that Leia is so outgoing. I know that my own parents had a hard time with me and my shyness. Leia was so excited to give her speech to the rest of the class today. That would have been something that would have terrified me. I don't have to send my little girl off to school worrying that she is having a bad time. Instead I can be sure she is having a great time and making the most of every opportunity. Now I just hope she gets the votes for Mayor or Bank President or she'll be disappointed.

4. I am thankful that after all the shyness growing up and some definitely painful teenage years I am at a place where I really like who I am. I'm not saying that to be conceited but I genuinely don't want to be anyone else, I don't envy anyone else, and my life is good. That's not to say that things are perfect. I mean I've just gone through the worst year of my life with the death of my father and financial troubles we never saw coming. But all in all, being comfortable with who I am helps me to get through the hard times.

5. I am thankful for the upbringing I had and the supportive family I have. I think that despite the awkward teenage years I always felt loved and secure at home. I am sure that is the main reason that I am who I am today. My parents were an example to me of so many things. I learned about marriage, responsibility, love, the gospel, the importance of family, and so many more things at home. I hope my own children will remember our home as being the one place they always wanted to be.

The good doctor.

2009-11-17T17:06:00.000-08:00

1. I am thankful for my doctor's appointment today. My blood pressure was low, the baby's heartbeat was in the 140s, my belly measured a little bit small but within the normal range, and I have gained 10 lbs so far which is normal. I often worry during pregnancy about all sorts of things but I feel good after a check-up and reassurance from the doctor that everything is going well.

2. I am thankful for a doctor that is willing to induce me whenever I want after 39 weeks. I will probably wait for nature to take it's course but it's nice to know if I get to a point where I can't take it anymore, I have choices. He also told me he is happy to discharge me within 24 hours of giving birth. Now if the pediatrician could get on board I would be one happy camper!

3. I am thankful that it only took 4 shots to get a great family portrait today. I'm not unveiling it just yet but everything went smoothly. It has a lot to do with the kids ages and I'm enjoying it. Everyone looked at the camera and smiled at the same time, the lighting was great, the background looked good and my tripod is worth its weight in gold.

4. I am thankful for a quick chat with my sister today. Even though we had nothing earth shattering to say, it always gives my day a boost to touch base with her.

5. I am thankful that today is done and all there is left to do is relax. Of course the kitchen could be cleaner and the carpet could do with a vacuum but I am letting it go tonight. At the end of the day, when the kids are tucked in I often find I've been running on almost empty for the last few hours and I have to slow down. But I am satisfied with how the day has gone. The kitchen and carpet will be waiting for me in the morning.

Photography

2009-11-16T13:25:00.000-08:00

I am thankful for photography. As I've had my children and they've begun to grow up, the pictures I've taken have become some of my most treasured possessions. I'm going to post 5 pictures each from their babyhood that I love the most or that I am most thankful for.

LEIA
1.

I took this picture when Leia was 11 months old. We took a walk in the grounds of a great museum in Newport News Virginia where we were living at the time. I was just becoming really interested in photography and was looking for those "natural" shots. Leia was fascinated by a ride-on lawn mower and perhaps a little bit apprehensive at the same time. I was using a film camera and had no idea what a great shot I had got until it was developed. How spoiled are we now with digital?

2.

This is one of those pictures that just captures Leia's personality. She had climbed onto the dining room table to steal some grapes and she knew she was caught!

3.

This is another one of those magic shots that you accidentally get when you happen to be in the right place at the right time. I think Leia was about 3 and we had gone to a local working farm called Carriage Hill in Huber Heights Ohio where we were living. Leia took a liking to one of the farm cats. I'm amazed it stayed still long enough to get this picture.

4.

This photo is special not just because it's of my daughter but because it reminds me of a wonderful vacation we had to England. Spencer was a few months old and Leia was 2. This picture was taken by a boyfriend of my sister and somehow it just manages to capture what was so lovely about her at age 2. Her hair was always wild, she was always curious and excited about what was going on around her. Truly a joy!

5.

I am a teensy bit ashamed of this picture even though it's a favorite. Leia was a year old and where we lived at the time we had a great pool a short walk from our house. I was anxious to try an underwater camera I had bought and I had my Mum dunk Leia under the water so I could take this picture. Now before you shout child abuse let me tell you that I knew she would be fine. She has always adored water and had a lot of confidence. After the dunk she didn't blink an eye and I got a fun shot.

SPENCER
1.

I love this picture so much. Just an afterthought at the time. Spencer was very new and had just had a bath. So snuggly and so cute.

2.

One year, and I think it's been the only one, I got to dress Leia and Spencer in the same Halloween costume. This year when Spencer was 5 months and Leia would have been 2, they were little lambs. Probably one of my favorite years because dressing your kids as fluffy animals increases their cuteness by at least 50%!

3.

This picture was taken on the vacation I mentioned earlier where we went to England. We went to the Lake District in England for a week and stayed in a Caravan. The only place available to wash babies was the kitchen sink. Spencer was very fussy in the evening time and putting him in the sink really calmed him down. This picture also reminds me of Spencer's first teeth. They showed up before he was three months old and I was trying at this point to get him on a bottle so he wouldn't bite me. My Dad managed to get him to take his first bottle on this vacation and it was such a relief.

4.

This picture is priceless to me. Spencer has always been quite quiet when he wants to be. He's not extremely talkative especially with strangers and didn't babble as a baby like Leia and Nathan did. But he has a very feisty part to him. If he doesn't get what he wants he lets you know about it. I love this face and even now he can bring this out on occasion but with a little less drool.

5.

Spencer has an eye condition called Nystagmus which causes his eyes to move from side to side. It doesn't affect him but on top of it he has an astigmatism like both Gary and I do. I love this picture because he is wearing his first pair of glasses which were a bit too big for him. He's also just come home from a Thanksgiving event at pre-school. I don't know why but I love that he has food all over his face and that his glasses are forcing his ears to stick out.

NATHAN
1.

Nathan has always been our ray of sunshine. This picture was taken when he was four months old and I layed him down on the grass for the first time. I think I was worried he might not like it since the sensation is so different to anything babies regularly experience. But, as we came to learn is Nathan's thing, he took it in stride and smiled as if he was having the time of his life.

2.

To most people this picture is disgusting but it's a very important picture for me. Nathan had reflux for his first year to the point where I couldn't let anyone hold him because I was scared to death he'd do this while in their arms and ruin their clothes. It was such a worry to me as it would seem at the time that his whole feed would come up. But everything worked out and he has actually been the biggest of all our kids. It's good to remember trials and how we came out of them unscathed.

3.

When I showed this picture to my Mum she laughed out loud. Nathan's personality has been large from day one and this manages to show that. I can't even remember what Leia was doing to him but it certainly looks as if he was horrified or scared silly. The thing is that he was neither. He's just always been the master of funny faces.

4.

You know those times when you're in the store and the kid is just cranky or out of control? You promise them some candy if they behave and then they fall asleep on the way home because they are so tired. Nathan is only 18 months in this picture so I don't think I could have bribed him on this day but I love that picture of a baby asleep in a pool of candy. He's experiencing a total sugar coma!

5.

This picture reminds me of the attachment both the boys had to pacifiers. It seemed that for at least a 5 year period our lives were ruled by whether we did or didn't have the pacifier when we left the house. As well as that, Nathan is smiling at me behind the pacifier. He ALWAYS smiled as a baby all day. I remember once when Nathan was crying over something and I wanted to take a picture of him, I asked him to say cheese and he still smiled and said cheese through the tears.

Heels or flats?

2009-11-15T20:10:00.000-08:00

Today was so so cold. I didn't want to go out but responsibility called. I slid all the way to church and tottered around on the ice in the parking lot in my heels. I suppose I could have worn flats but the pair of boots I have that are flat are an unusual pair of Doc Martens with some tight elastic bits that REALLY hug my legs. I could just picture the discomfort they might cause at this point in the pregnancy. I'm not willing to do anything to cause any extra pain anywhere.
It was good to get back home after the shall we say interesting experience of teaching Spencer's Sunday School class on short notice.

1. I am thankful for hot chocolate and a fire on a cold day.

2. I am thankful for Sunday afternoon naps.

3. I am thankful that I kept my patience when Spencer and two of his friends didn't want to listen to anything I had to say in the lesson today. I took some deep breaths and I am hoping that something sunk in with a few of the kids amidst the chaos.

4. I am thankful for my wheat pillow. It's like a band-aid with my kids. Tonight Nathan said his tummy hurt and he was moaning, and holding his stomach. He refused to eat any dinner and I was a little worried. He didn't have a fever so I concluded he had bad gas. I suggested the wheat pillow and it was like magic. He went to bed at 6pm and when Gary put the wheat pillow on his tummy he said "Oh yeah Daddy, that's nice", and was asleep within 5 minutes.

5. I am thankful for Gary getting me caught up on laundry so that I don't have to put dirty socks on the kids tomorrow morning. Sometimes things go by the wayside and last week laundry was one of them.

Yucky weather day.

2009-11-14T21:10:00.000-08:00

1. I am thankful for a hubby that goes out in nasty weather to pick up photos I've ordered and a chick flick.

2. I am thankful that my hubby will watch a chick flick with me, with no complaints when I'm not so good about watching things he likes.

3. I am thankful for almost finishing a big project and being able to tick one thing off my long "to do" list that gets drawn up at this time every year to get me through Christmas.

4. I am thankful for scented candles. We turned on the self clean on the oven today and the smell wasn't so great. It was too cold to leave the windows open for long so the scented candle saved the day for me.

5. I am thankful that I kept the receipt for the new humidifier we got for Nathan's room. It's not working properly so on Monday I have to take it back. Darn it!

Thank goodness it's Friday.

2009-11-13T17:49:00.000-08:00

1. I am thankful for a much more relaxing day than yesterday.

2. I am thankful that I have nothing much to do this weekend. If it snows as has been forecast, I can just stay in and stay warm.

3. I am thankful for my crock-pot. It's hard to try and cook dinner when the kids come home from school and are all bouncy and need a million things. It's so much easier for me to make dinner at 9am when Leia and Spencer are at school and Nathan is preoccupied with Curious George.

4. I am thankful that I don't need Super Nanny's help. I won't say I have everything figured out and we have our moments but we have a good routine and don't stand for any rubbish.

5. I am thankful for Fridays. It's the only weekday the kids don't get homework. After being at school from 8.30-3.30 I just want my kids to be able to play with each other and not have to do more school work. Sometimes they are sitting there for an hour and they are 6 and 8!

A Woman's Work

2009-11-12T18:13:00.000-08:00

This'll seem a bit shallow today but I'm really tired and did nothing but housework all day.

1. I am thankful for my Dyson. With the amount of vacuuming I do and the amount of stuff that ends up on my carpets, this is the first vacuum I've had that is capable of handling it.

2. I am thankful for Bleach. Strange I hear you say but without regular applications of bleach to the toilet bowl in the kid's bathroom, the bowl would be brown. They NEVER flush!

3. I am thankful for lasagna noodles you don't have to cook beforehand. I hate having to pre-boil them and burn my fingers as I assemble the lasagna.

4. I am (sort of) thankful that Spencer had a tantrum before school because I refused to put candy in his lunchbox. It gave me a good excuse to put the rest of it in the trash because of his stinky behavior to me. I think we've all had enough candy the last few weeks. I am tired of the demands and general grumpiness eating a lot of candy seems to produce.

5. I am thankful that Nathan's nose didn't bleed as much today. We've been running the vaporiser every night in his room, to the point where it's like a steam room in there. But I think it's working.

A nice day.

2009-11-11T18:42:00.000-08:00

1. I am thankful that Gary and I got to go out on a date today. He decided to take the day off and after we dropped Nathan at school we were able to go out for lunch and to do a little Christmas Shopping. It was so nice to just be with Gary and forget about housework for the day.

2. I am thankful for durable tires. Yesterday, Leia left her scooter on the garage floor exactly where I pull the car in. It's a big no no and we've had conversations about it because when it's laying down I can't see it over the hood of the car. I ran right over it and was convinced it had damaged the tire. This morning it was still fully inflated. Phew!

3. I am thankful that the boys love legos. When shopping for Christmas it's so hard not to get sensory overload. Gary and I walk down the toy aisles and get very confused most of the time. For boys especially, there's so much stuff. Transformers, Star Wars, Bakugan, G.I.Joe, Pokemon, legos etc.... Gary thinks girls should feel like they can play with all that stuff but let's be honest - they're not very interested. So Gary and I can go pick them out a couple of lego sets and know they'll be ecstatic. Plus I feel like they can use their imagination with legos more than with other toys. Now if I could only get past the fact that we have legos in all four corners of the house and further afield. I feel like my whole life is picking up legos!

4. I am thankful for a peek at my friend's newborn baby today. I'm getting a little bit more baby hungry as the weeks are going by. I need to get excited since at times my apprehension about jumping back into the baby stage is quite significant. I'm used to life with no diapers for two years and full nights of sleep for four. Between my new Niece Cate and my friend's brand new little boy I think it's safe to say I'm ready to get show number 4 on the road.

5. I am thankful that I made way too much dinner yesterday. This may seem like a small thing but after a busy day I just couldn't face making dinner. I got out the leftovers for the kids and took a pass on everything that cooking entails - dishes, planning, etc...... I just had some toast myself about an hour ago and it was relaxing. I'm tired.

Veterans Day Program

2009-11-10T19:11:00.000-08:00

Since the start of school, I have been getting up every Wednesday morning at what has seemed like the crack of dawn to drive Leia to choir practise which takes place an hour before school. I've often wondered what they were so busy practising and this evening we got to find out.

1. I am thankful that I agreed to let Leia do choir this year. It was an absolutely wonderful program and I'm sure there wasn't a dry eye in the place.

2. I am thankful that our friend Chris brought his camera to the program this evening. I decided against bringing mine because every time it seems we get stuck at the back and my pictures are awful. This time we got a front row seat shock horror and I was left wishing I had brought it after all. Chris agreed to take photos of Leia for me and he has some nice equipment!

3. I am thankful and proud that Gary is a Veteran. During the end number which was a mash up of all the branches of the military's theme songs, he could stand up and sing along.

4. I am thankful that our children have good reason to be proud of their father. He gives them reasons every day but tonight was special as we had a chance to talk about what it means to serve your country honorably, which he did for 9 years.

5. I am grateful for a school system that has these extra programs. Not only has Leia been singing every week but she has been learning about the history of our country in a different way which is more likely to mean more to her as she was actively participating by learning lines and songs for the program. It was honestly a delight to see her so animated and proud of herself. She stood on the front row of the choir as she is one of the littler ones and she stood there fearlessly and with such poise, especially when she delivered her line. I'm so proud of the way she is growing up.

England and stuff.

2009-11-09T16:34:00.000-08:00

1. I am thankful for having grown up in England. I feel that living in America now, I have a more balanced viewpoint of many things that others do not and the media and other sources do nothing to clarify things for people.

2. I am thankful that growing up, my parents worked and we all went went to school within the same square mile. I have fond memories of walking with my parents either in the morning or evening on the way to school and work. I could always go over to my Dad's office at lunchtime when I was in High School if I ever needed anything. Or the elementary school where my Mum worked.

3. I am thankful for the appreciation I have of history. My childhood home is a few hundred years old and only gets better with age and love. I also had the opportunity while in High School to do an internship at the local Norman Castle (it dates back to somewhere between 1100-1400, can't quite remember the exact date). I also remember kissing Gary in the dungeons one time during a tour when they turned out the lights to show us what a medieval prisoner would have felt like!

4. I am thankful for the traditions that I brought with me from England. Especially Christmas traditions. As the holidays approach I'm feeling that familiar excitement that comes with recreating the fun we always had growing up. From advent to Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol", to crackers and family recipes.

5. I am thankful for the incredibly strong church environment I grew up in. Our church community called a Stake was simply the best. In England, with cultural differences comes a slightly different experience than that which exists here. I only hope that my children will make as strong friendships as I did through the church. As an adult and knowing very few people in the Stake it's hard to gauge whether the closeness among friends I experienced will be similar for them here.

WARNING. Post of a personal nature.

2009-11-08T17:51:00.000-08:00

Today in church I was talking to a friend who's father is sick. As we were talking my mind naturally turned to my Dad and how much I miss him. It's been over a year now since he died. About 8 months ago I wrote a letter to my Dad as a way to express my feelings and get down on paper a little of who he was and the difference he had made to my life. I have thought many times about what I would do with the letter. It's just been sitting on my desktop. I decided today to post it as part of my month chronicling things I am thankful for. There are more than 5 things in this letter that I am thankful for. The letter is of a personal nature and I have struggled over whether to post it or not but I want people to know how I felt about Dad and the kind of person he was.

Dear Dad

I’ll always remember you sitting on the shore of Lake Ullswater, with your watercolors beside you. The rest of us would sit somewhere close by enjoying the unsurpassed beauty. While we only looked at it, you could capture it forever. People would pass by and often stop to admire your work. I always felt such pride in your talents. My Dad was an artist. I don’t think I have as much talent as you did in your little finger but the urge to create I know came in the most part from you. Once we all got older it became a sort of competition as to who had the most originals by Alan Boycott. Being the eldest and the one to get married and create a home first I was always winning. The paintings and drawings you made especially for me will always rank amongst my most treasured possessions. I can’t ever pass a day without thinking of you since your work takes pride of place on my walls.

I’ll never forget how much you loved me and how my insignificant problems, mostly during those turbulent school days affected you. It was hard for you to see me upset and crying. When a boy at school pushed me into a locker and I came home with a bruise on my arm, you called his parents and made sure it would never happen again. That kind of thing shapes a young 15 year old girl. I felt secure in the affection and protection of my father. I know that I often wished that I would get the amount of pocket money you wanted to give me instead of the amount suggested by Mum. It was a ridiculous amount but that’s how indulgent you were.

Of course, we have spent our most memorable moments together while I have been an adult. Our relationship turned into a trusted friendship and you became an advisor and counselor to Gary and me as we embarked upon our own adventures as parents. It has meant so much to me that Gary would trust you with all his questions on religion and indeed any topic at all. And the children loved you so much. One of my most favorite memories ever, is of Spencer hanging around you all day hoping for a sip of your root beer. Grandad Alan is a person who was cherished. It was truly a treat for the children to know that you and Grandma Shirley would be visiting soon.

I often reflect on how it was that you always won when the four of us sat down to play hearts. Isn’t it a game of chance? Whether it is or not, you always defied the odds and chuckled heartily over the losers, often me and Mum. I wonder what you are excelling at now? I’m sure it’s everything you do. You know, it seems to me as your daughter who obviously thinks you can do no wrong, that there wasn’t one thing you couldn’t have done had you wanted to. One of your talents which I believe has more value than even the artist in you was your ability to love others and make them feel important. One Sunday, during the time I was in England for Rachel’s wedding, you were giving a talk in church. You were the last one to speak, and when you got up, you wove effortlessly into your talk some of the points made by the previous speakers and mentioned them by name. Who doesn’t want to feel like their remarks have been taken note of and appreciated? I told you how great I thought it was. I hope you always knew how much I respected you and looked up to you.
Since you left us, I have reflected on our last holiday together to Sevierville, Tennessee. It has taken on a whole new significance in my mind. I wish I had not been so full of my own troubles and cares of the day. Instead of sitting on the porch of the cabin and just enjoying your company I was stressing about things that have of course worked out. And that’s what you told me anyway. I treasure the memory of walking down the street in Gatlinburg with your arm through mine. You seemed frail during that last visit and I suppose I tried not to dwell on it. I had such high hopes that the operation would strengthen you somehow and maybe you could retire that walking stick. I remember what a pain it was that you left your walking stick at the house when we drove to Tennessee. But now I am glad because I have the two replacements you bought in my closet. They come out when we go hiking with the children and we talk about you and feel you near.

It’s so hard not to feel bitter at times. It seems so unfair that you had to leave us so soon. My children are only 7, 5, and 3. How long will it be before they cannot remember their interactions with you and a photograph is the only reminder they will have? Do I not need my father? I am only 29 and have much of my life to live. I will need your wisdom so much more in the coming years and you will not be there to share it with me. Where is the mercy of our Heavenly Father? Mum is now alone and the mission you had planned to serve together will be undertaken without you. The pain I feel is magnified by the worse pain I know Mum is feeling. But then I was sitting with Mum over Christmas and looking at the mountains. I had a moment of clarity. Heavenly Father’s mercy has been for you and you have needed it so much more than any of us left behind.

Your health problems over the years were sometimes so awful. I knew when I had to cut your fingernails for you, because you had so little feeling left in your hands, it wasn’t much fun for you even though I was more than happy to do it. There’s only so much physical pain a person can experience and you Dad had so much more than your fair share. You endured it without complaining. I’m ashamed to admit it but it often frustrated me how slow you walked or what you couldn’t do with the rest of us. I remember wanting you to come on a roller coaster with us at Alton Towers when I was a kid. You did it but suffered afterwards. In Tennessee last summer, I’ll never forget how you needed to stop and rest after only walking 100 yards or so. The operation was going to have to work spectacularly well or the future for you would have been uncertain and not a little bit scary. Instead our Heavenly Father welcomed you into his rest. Are you now walking tall? I can see you loving others somewhere out there and whilst I’d much prefer you to be here with us, perhaps you are needed and are happy in the work that you are doing. I do know that you suffer no more pain and who am I to wish you here again in your body that just seemed to let you down.

But I miss you so much. Even six months after you left, I still cannot think about you without the tears blurring my vision and an ache in my chest. I have wanted to write this for such a long time but have been almost dreading it. It’s easier for me to avoid pain and that is what I have been doing. I long for the day when I can think about you and talk about you without feeling so much pain. That day has to come I just don’t know when it will.

As I said before I hope that you always knew how much I love you and how I am so grateful that you are my Dad. You inspire me to live my life to a higher standard and to love others unconditionally. When I saw how many people came to honor you at your funeral, I was filled with pride for the person you were as well as an intense wish to be like you.

Once upon a time you said you wanted to write a novel. That’s always been one of my own ambitions. If I ever finish my book, I will dedicate it to you for you inspired me, not just with your own creativity but with the way you lived your life.

I can’t wait for the day when I will see you and put my arms around you once again. It’s this knowledge that makes me truly happy. How could I not live my life with joy having had you in my life, even if it was only for 28 short years?

Until we meet again, I love you Dad with all my heart.

Sarah

Castlewood Canyon State Park

2009-11-07T16:04:00.000-08:00

1. I am thankful for days in November where we can go hiking. The weather today was fantastic yet last week we had a pretty crazy snow storm!

2. I am thankful that we live in Colorado. It is such a beautiful state and we have so many places to go on the weekends with the children.

3. I am thankful that my children shout for joy when we suggest hiking and a picnic as a weekend activity.

4. I am thankful for a healthy pregnancy where I can go hiking in rocky terrain without much discomfort.

5. I am thankful for a cosy house to come home to when I am tired and have sore feet.

Make a Smilebox greeting

I am thankful.

2009-11-06T18:33:00.000-08:00

1. I am thankful that this morning during the two hour delay before school, Leia made herself a crown out of paper with Queen Elizabeth written across it. And then she wore the crown to school. She wore it proudly on the school bus. She doesn't seem to let what anyone else would think bother her. I hope she is always like this.

2. I am thankful that Gary took a good portion of the Halloween candy out of the house today and it's not going to be wasted. I'd rather he and a friend eat it during a game night than have to fight with the kids about it for who knows how long.

3. I am thankful for my car pool and the two girls I do it with. The trip to Nathan's pre-school takes about 15 minutes one way and without the car pool, I would have to drive Nathan to school and back three times a week. As it is I only have to do the journey once a week and then on my off days, like today I can take a nap if I need to. That's gold to me right now. I slept well again last night but when 12.30pm rolled around I could hardly keep my eyes open. Growing a person literally sucks all the energy out of me.

4. I am thankful that Gary and I decided to try civilian life. I can easily credit the military with helping a very unfocused 20 something Gary to make some goals and follow through with his education but with what's going on in the world right now, I know that we made the right decision for our family. We can be together and the kids (especially the boys) who desperately need attention from their father always have it.

5. I am thankful that my kids will eat healthy food. Tonight I made a pork roast with potatoes and carrots. I also steamed some broccoli on the side. I serve the kids first so their food can cool a little. While I was serving Gary and myself, the kids were sitting at the table with their plates. Usually they'll wait for us to join them before we begin. By the time I had served Gary and I and we sat down, Nathan had stuffed all his broccoli into his mouth and was looking guilty as if he had sneaked some of my chocolate chips I use for baking. I couldn't be mad.